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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.12

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 12
Some people hold that investing art is wasting money for the government; whereas, the authority could spend money in other fields. Although funding art is the best way for developing local culture, I believe that the money should be directed in other purposes. Education one of the main aspect in country. The authority should spend money on education system, which is the most important aspect among young part of society, purchasing new educational tools. Clearly, the authority should supply educational institutions with high tech gadgets such as computers, digital blackboard and sport equipment. When quality of teaching increases within the country, for instance, younger become motivated to gain knowledge. Furthermore, if the university furnished with laboratory tools, students can create new substances, participating in practice rooms. In addition, graduates can be one of those who governs the country. Indeed, any nationality has a diverse culture. The authority should invest the various branches of creative activities, such as painting, traditional music: folklore and opera, which preserve local traditions. For instance, when residents travel to art galleries or museums, they might tend to be visually literate in those places. However, the art galleries or museums can be invested themselves with pay which earned from dairy visitors. Furthermore, youths should be educated at school or tertiary education places in order to become aware about all subjects such as math, physics or just biology. To sum up, while there are discussion either art should be funded or government should pay attention other spheres, I believe that elected officials should invest in public educational institutions.
Some
people
hold that investing
art
is wasting
money
for the
government
; whereas, the
authority
could spend
money
in other fields. Although funding
art
is the best way for developing local culture, I believe that the
money
should
be directed
in other purposes.

Education one of the main aspect in country. The
authority
should spend
money
on education system, which is the most
important
aspect among young part of society, purchasing new educational tools.

Clearly
, the
authority
should supply educational institutions with high tech gadgets such as computers, digital blackboard and sport equipment. When quality of teaching increases within the country,
for instance
, younger become motivated to gain knowledge.
Furthermore
, if the university furnished with laboratory tools, students can create new substances, participating in practice rooms.
In addition
, graduates can be one of those who governs the country.

Indeed
, any nationality has a diverse culture. The
authority
should invest the various branches of creative activities, such as painting, traditional music: folklore and opera, which preserve local traditions.
For instance
, when residents travel to
art
galleries or museums, they might tend to be
visually
literate in those places.
However
, the
art
galleries or museums can
be invested
themselves with pay which earned from dairy visitors.
Furthermore
, youths should
be educated
at school or tertiary education places in order to become aware about all subjects such as math, physics or
just
biology.

To sum up, while there are discussion either
art
should
be funded
or
government
should pay attention other spheres, I believe that elected officials should invest in public educational institutions.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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