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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.11

Since the evolution of mankind on gearth arts spread its feet all over the globe. By exploring the caves it can be find that how creative early men are as we found many paintings on wall of the caves, making jewellery, dance as well. Now most of the dwellers opined that to spend remuneration on art or artist by government is all futile, there are other issues which must be acknowledge by administration such as pollution, population, racism etcetra. I partially approve with this statement. To begin with, in present prominently people do not have much interest in arts. This all due to advancement off science and technology. Everyone has concern about new inventions and discoveries. Even highest percentage of students at school and colleges prefer science main subject; therefore expenses on arts is an extra burdern on society and organisation. It is also undeniable that many of the artists rely on this activity, as this is the only source of their income. However, government must provide handfull amount of money to artist for doing art work. To cite an example a survey was conducted by PU that strength of artist has been declining day to day life. Consequently, overspending on it is not a beneficial notion. Beside this, it is not hide from anyone that, today country is being confronted with another detrimental messes that is pollution such as air, water, soil and many more. Moreover, increasing population is also putting bad effects on nation. For this government must provide some funds for making policies to control and observe these troubles. For instance, numerous of developed habitat divide funds according to the demand of problems faced by commuters in habitat. To conclude, I believe that providing huge amount to art will make situation worse as it is just like throwing money in sea. So, this enhance econmic problems by alleviating ecconomy of our land. Instead of huge amount organization just provide a small help to artists
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the evolution of mankind on
Possible spelling mistake found.
gearth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
spread its feet all over the globe. By exploring the caves it can be
Consider using a past participle here: "found".
find
that how creative early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are as we found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
paintings on wall of the caves, making
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, dance
as well
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
most of the dwellers opined that to spend remuneration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is all futile, there are other issues which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "acknowledged"?
acknowledge
by administration such as pollution, population, racism
Possible spelling mistake found.
etcetra
. I
partially
approve with this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in present
prominently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have much interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. This all due to advancement off science and technology. Everyone has concern about new inventions and discoveries. Even highest percentage of students at school and colleges prefer science main subject;
therefore
expenses on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is an extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
burdern
on society and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. It is
also
undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
rely on this activity, as this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of their income.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
handfull
amount of money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
work. To cite an example a survey
was conducted
by PU that strength of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
has been declining day to day life.
Consequently
, overspending on it is not a beneficial notion.

Beside this, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
from anyone that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
country is
being confronted
with another detrimental messes
that is
pollution such as air, water, soil and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
, increasing population is
also
putting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on nation. For this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds for making policies to control and observe these troubles.
For instance
, numerous of developed habitat divide funds according to the demand of problems faced by commuters in habitat.

To conclude
, I believe that providing huge amount to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
situation worse as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like throwing money in sea.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
The verb 'enhance' is plural. Did you mean: "this enhances"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this enhance
Possible spelling mistake found.
econmic
problems by alleviating
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecconomy
of our land.
Instead
of huge amount
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
provide a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
artists
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting monwy on arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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