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International travel is becoming cheaper and cheaper, and more countries are now opening their doors to foreign visitors. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

International travel is becoming cheaper and cheaper, and more countries are now opening their doors to foreign visitors. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Nowadays travelling to a foreign country is very convenient as travel costs are more affordable and countries are opening their doors to welcome foreign tourists. From my personal perspective, although this trend has some negative sides, they would be outweighed by the many benefits. One of the downsides of international travel is the concern about the transmission of airborne diseases which can result in pandemics. Take the outbreak of coronavirus infections as an example. Initially the COVID-19 cases were only restricted to the city of Wuhan in China. Having no precautions for this illness, other countries did not close their borders and for the next three months, travelers have rapidly spread this deadly virus, causing thousands of fatalities worldwide. Therefore, opening doors for tourists in this case is not an optimal choice. On the other side, however, I believe that international tourism has numerous advantages. First and foremost, it is an important pillar of the economic development of the host country. The more holidaymakers are attracted, the more funds from them would be collected, uplifting the income of the tourism sector in particular and the whole nation in general. What is more, the growth of tourism helps to solve the unemployment problem in local regions as it provides more job opportunities for local residents in hotels or restaurants. Moreover, their houses can be converted into hostels to provide accommodations to visitors, which would generate income for the hosts. Hardly could they earn such a good income without the promotion of tourism. In the grand scheme of things, I believe that the benefits of international tourism, regarding the wealth of local economy and the decline in unemployment rates, do overshadow the disadvantages. From my point of view, countries all over the world should concentrate on promoting the country’s images to attract more tourists and make tourism a key industry.
Nowadays travelling to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient as travel costs are more affordable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are opening their doors to welcome foreign tourists. From my personal perspective, although this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, they would
be outweighed
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.

One of the downsides of international travel is the concern about the transmission of airborne diseases which can result in pandemics. Take the outbreak of coronavirus infections as an example.
Initially
the COVID-19 cases were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
restricted to the city of Wuhan in China. Having no precautions for this illness, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
did not close their borders and for the
next
three months, travelers have
rapidly
spread this deadly virus, causing thousands of fatalities worldwide.
Therefore
, opening doors for tourists
in this case
is not an optimal choice.

On the other side,
however
, I believe that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has numerous advantages.
First
and foremost, it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
pillar of the economic development of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The more holidaymakers
are attracted
, the more funds from them would
be collected
, uplifting the income of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector
in particular
and the whole nation
in general
.
What is more
, the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to solve the unemployment problem in local regions as it provides more job opportunities for local residents in hotels or restaurants.
Moreover
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
can
be converted
into hostels to provide accommodations to visitors, which would generate income for the hosts. Hardly could they earn such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income without the promotion of tourism.

In the grand scheme of things, I believe that the benefits of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, regarding the wealth of local economy and the decline in unemployment rates, do overshadow the disadvantages. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
all over the world should concentrate on promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
images to attract more tourists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
a key industry.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay International travel is becoming cheaper and cheaper, and more countries are now opening their doors to foreign visitors. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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