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overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that government and individuals can tackle these problems. v.17

overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that government and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 17
There are numerous problems caused by overpopulation in urban areas. Despite efforts and national initiatives to abate this growing dilemma, people are still suffering from many burning issues. In this essay, I will expound on the main reason for these problems before offering effective steps that can be taken to overcome these challenges. There are some blatant and obvious causes of this problem. To my mind, one of most glaring concern is the employment opportunity for each and every citizen. In general, if population is increasing day by day, then not every citizen be able to obtain a job. This is because there are less opportunities are available than skilled workers. As a result, these people won't be able to manage their ongoing expenses such as accommodation, bills, etc. , without any income. This was the case of one of my friend, Ben. He used to live in the downtown area of the City of Toronto. Even though he had a master's degree in Mechanical Engineering, he was not able to get any position because of increased competition in job market. As to the viable solution, I feel that most potent one would be to implement new job opportunities and initiatives in the local area. More specifically, the government need to monitor the situation about people's employment in the particular area and they should create new job opportunities so that those people can earn some income to take care of their daily needs. The government should also create employment agencies around different communities. This will allow those skilled society members to obtain a work opportunity much quicker in a competitive market. I am not alone in this view, and some empirical evidence can be provided to support it. For instance, in 2007, China, which has the highest population in the world, created more than 20 million job to maintain the economy of the country by reducing the un-employment ratio. To sum up, many people are not able to acquire work opportunity due to overpopulation. However, the government should introduce new jobs and create employment agencies to overcome this colossal issue.
There are numerous problems caused by overpopulation in urban
areas
. Despite efforts and national initiatives to abate this growing dilemma,
people
are
still
suffering from
many
burning issues. In this essay, I will expound on the main reason for these problems
before
offering effective steps that can
be taken
to overcome these challenges.

There are
some
blatant and obvious causes of this problem. To my mind, one of most glaring concern is the
employment
opportunity
for each and every citizen.
In general
, if population is increasing day by day, then not every citizen be
able
to obtain a
job
. This is
because
there are
less
opportunities
are available than skilled workers.
As a result
, these
people
won't be
able
to manage their ongoing expenses such as accommodation, bills, etc.
,
without any income. This was the case of one of my friend, Ben. He
used
to
live
in the downtown
area
of the City of Toronto.
Even though
he had a master's degree in Mechanical Engineering, he was not
able
to
get
any position
because
of increased competition in
job
market.

As to the viable solution, I feel that most potent one would be to implement new
job
opportunities
and initiatives in the local
area
. More
specifically
, the
government
need to monitor the situation about
people
's
employment
in the particular
area and
they should create new
job
opportunities
so
that those
people
can earn
some
income to take care of their daily needs. The
government
should
also
create
employment
agencies around
different
communities. This will
allow
those skilled society members to obtain a work
opportunity
much quicker in a competitive market. I am not alone in this view, and
some
empirical evidence can
be provided
to support it.
For instance
, in 2007, China, which has the highest population in the world, created more than 20 million
job
to maintain the economy of the country by reducing the
un-employment
ratio.

To sum up,
many
people
are not
able
to acquire work
opportunity
due to overpopulation.
However
, the
government
should introduce new
jobs
and create
employment
agencies to overcome this colossal issue.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS essay overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that government and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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