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Some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. v. 2
In this modern century, environmental issues have become a crucial and a major concern in today’s society. Increased fuel consumption and industrial countries have made many problems. Some people consider increasing the price of fuel will be the prominent solution. In my opinion, this is right to some extend but I do not agree with this because it may cause some other problems. Firstly, it is true that raising price will help to reduce the environmental pollution and individuals may use their cars less. But, this wouldn’t be a good solution because approximately everything runs and works with oil energy like transportation system and some industrial instruments. As a result, it will affect the products’ cost or even unnecessary things. Also some people may not overcome the life expenses. Hence, the government, economy will be affected. Secondly, increasing fuel cost will not just disturb the economy, but also it will cause protest and make people frustrated because they can’t afford the prices. So government should find other solutions for instance, informing society using less oil energy leads to less environmental pollution by advertisements or short explanations on social media and encourage people to use transportation systems instead of their own cars, and use more wind, solar and water energy instead of non-renewable recourses for example for example change some industrial instruments to low energy users. In a conclusion, global environmental issues are very important and its problems won’t be solved just by raising petrol prices. I strongly believe that government should seek for more possible options to apply to the society.
In this modern century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues have become a crucial and a major concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. Increased fuel consumption and industrial countries have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of fuel will be the prominent solution. In my opinion, this is right to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other problems.

Firstly
, it is true that raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
pollution and individuals may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their cars less.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this wouldn’t be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
approximately everything runs and works with oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
like transportation system and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industrial instruments.
As a result
, it will affect the products’ cost or even unnecessary things.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not overcome the life expenses.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, economy will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

Secondly
, increasing fuel cost will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
disturb the economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will cause protest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
frustrated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can’t afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should find other solutions
for instance
, informing society using less oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
leads to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
pollution by advertisements or short explanations on social media and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
transportation systems
instead
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more wind, solar and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
instead
of non-renewable recourses
for example
for example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industrial instruments to low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
users.

In a conclusion, global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and its problems won’t
be solved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by raising petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should seek for more possible options to apply to the society.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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