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some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. v. 2
With the sweeping trend of urbanization, people in increasing numbers are inclined to spend more time traveling back and forth to work. Under this circumstance, an absolute consensus can hardly be reached whether building apartments instead of parks and gardens near the city center is the most suitable approach to address this problem. I will make an objective analysis of this argument in my following essay. Some people harbor the belief that this practice does a great job in reducing the commuting time of many employees if well carried out. To be specific, living in apartment buildings close to the workplace is extremely effective in saving a large amount of time for the reason that commuters do not have to travel too much, even they can walk to their offices. In effect, this is a beautiful dream for those who have been plagued by heavy traffic congestion in major cities on their way to and from work. However, others maintain that it is an extremely demanding job for people to imagine what the city center would look like when millions of people flooded into numerous apartment buildings there. It would become much more crowded and polluted than ever before. When people intend to find a park or garden for leisure and relaxation, they have no alternative to spend a few hours traveling out of town. Not to mention that working in a concrete jungle, people can hardly gain the pressure which is of paramount importance in their work and life. From my own perspective, I side with the stance of the latter to a larger extent, believing that the benefits they have gained from shortened traveling time by building more apartments would be undone. Actually, more effective and feasible measures can be adopted with the aim to reduce commuting time. A case in point is that tele-commuting through advanced telecommunication technologies enables people to work at home and the government should invest more to improve infrastructure construction and perfect road system. In addition, the meaning of public areas is more than beautifying the city and they have more practical functions such as providing urban residents with the space to do outdoor activities to keep healthy and relieve their pressure. Accordingly, city planners should consider comprehensive planning towards the problems triggered by urban sprawl.
With the sweeping trend of urbanization,
people
in increasing numbers
are inclined
to spend more
time
traveling back and forth to work. Under this circumstance, an absolute consensus can hardly
be reached
whether
building
apartments
instead
of parks and gardens near the city center is the most suitable approach to address this problem. I will
make
an objective analysis of this argument in my following essay.

Some
people
harbor the belief that this practice does a great job in reducing the commuting
time
of
many
employees if well carried out. To be specific, living in
apartment
buildings
close to the workplace is
extremely
effective in saving a large amount of
time
for the reason that commuters do not
have to
travel too much, even they can walk to their offices. In effect, this is a
beautiful
dream for those who have
been plagued
by heavy traffic congestion in major
cities
on their way to and from work.

However
, others maintain that it is an
extremely
demanding job for
people
to imagine what the city center would look like when millions of
people
flooded into numerous
apartment
buildings
there. It would become much more crowded and polluted than ever
before
. When
people
intend to find a park or garden for leisure and relaxation, they have no alternative to spend a few hours traveling out of town. Not to mention that working in a concrete jungle,
people
can hardly gain the pressure which is of paramount importance in their work and life.

From my
own
perspective, I side with the stance of the latter to a larger extent, believing that the benefits they have gained from shortened traveling
time
by
building
more
apartments
would be undone. Actually, more effective and feasible measures can
be adopted
with the aim to
reduce
commuting
time
. A case in point is that
tele-commuting
through advanced telecommunication technologies enables
people
to work at home and the
government
should invest more to
improve
infrastructure construction and perfect road system.
In addition
, the meaning of public areas is more than beautifying the
city and
they have more practical functions such as providing urban residents with the space to do outdoor activities to
keep
healthy and relieve their pressure.
Accordingly
, city planners should consider comprehensive planning towards the problems triggered by urban sprawl.
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IELTS essay some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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