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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 5
A set of mortals insist that prison sentences for longer duration is the best measure to reduce crime rate while, other reckon that crime can be reduced by some other alternative ways. However, in my opinion rehabilitation or community services are the better alternative but, i think longer prison sentences must be for the serious criminals. To begin with those who advocate with the first notion think that offenders should be punished with longer prison sentences because this phenomenon can generate fear in a criminal's mind. In other words, if a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment before committing any crime, it will discourage him from becoming a criminal. For example, in the India, the rapist and the murderer usually get life time prison sentences, resulting in making people think twice before committing any serious crime. Hence, imposing strict punishments deters people from committing crime. On the other hand, some other alternative can be taken to solve the problem. Rehabilitation service should be available for the criminals who commit crime by mistake, and realize their wrong doing. Moreover, awareness programs in prison should be held, about the consequences of the crime which, will deters them to think about crime again. For example, if any person done crime once in life and then he learned about the outcomes of a crime. He definitely avoid the path of crime. In conclusion, i would strongly say that the criminals with a negative history should be held longer in the prison. But at the same time, people who commit minor crimes and possess good behavior should be penalized in different ways, so that they can live a respectful life later and give something back to the community
A set of mortals insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
duration is the best measure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternative ways.
However
, in my opinion rehabilitation or community services are the better alternative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be for the serious criminals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with those who advocate with the
first
notion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that offenders should
be punished
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this phenomenon can generate fear in a criminal's mind. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, it will discourage him from becoming a criminal.
For example
, in the India, the rapist and the murderer
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
, resulting in making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing any serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Hence
, imposing strict punishments deters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing crime.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternative can
be taken
to solve the problem. Rehabilitation service should be available for the criminals who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by mistake, and realize their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doing.
Moreover
, awareness programs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
should
be held
, about the consequences of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
which, will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "deter"
deters
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again.
For example
, if any person done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
once in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
then he learned about the outcomes of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. He definitely
The pronoun 'He' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "avoids", "avoided".
avoid
the path of crime.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would
strongly
say that the criminals with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
history should
be held
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the same time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who commit minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and possess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior should
be penalized
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a respectful life later and give something back to the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
community
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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