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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.13

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 13
Although it is sometimes thought that the rate of crime should be reduced by imprisoning criminals for a long duration, other people believe that the focus should be on beneficial ways to solve it. In my opinion, I consider that other effective ways such as therapist offenders and giving them resources to learn new skills are far more beneficial than confining them to a prison cell. One the one hand, some people think that other different structure has significant effects on committing less infraction and I agree. Firstly, it is believed that criminal behaviour is a mindset that could be changed with getting help by a therapist which, consequently, their overview to the life will be changed in the long run. For example, children who live in deprived area do not have any idea about the other lifestyles except poverty, moreover, they are more likely to turn to the violation. Some research findings confirm that changing their mindset could contribute them to revolutionize their lifestyle that would have a beneficial effect on reducing the rate case. Secondly, offenders should be trainee to learn new skills and get official certificates. Since having an official certificate has a vital role to be hired, they will have greater job opportunities which, consequently, reducing the misdeed rate. On the other hand, it is often believed that criminals locked away and society effectively protects. First of all, It is maintained that it keeps criminals off the streets and prevents them re-offending so often. In this way, criminals cannot persuade others to commit a crime; therefore, The number of people who turning to breach is reduced. Secondly, this phenomenon can generate fear in a criminal’s mind. In other words, if a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment before committing any offence, it will discourage him from becoming a criminal. For example, in the UAE, the rapist and the murderer usually get lifetime prison sentences, resulting in making individuals think twice before committing any serious felony. Hence, imposing strict punishment deters people from committing crime. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I think that criminals stand a better chance to benefit from a better life if they change their mindset and learn new skills to change their lifestyle.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the rate of crime should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by imprisoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for a long duration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the focus should be on beneficial ways to solve it. In my opinion, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
effective ways such as therapist offenders and giving them resources to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are far more beneficial than confining them to a prison cell.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
structure has significant effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
less infraction and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is a mindset that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by a therapist which,
consequently
, their overview to the life will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the long run.
For example
, children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in deprived area do not have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
lifestyles except poverty,
moreover
, they are more likely to turn to the violation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
research findings confirm that changing their mindset could contribute them to revolutionize their lifestyle that would have a beneficial effect on reducing the rate case.
Secondly
, offenders should be trainee to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
official certificates. Since having an official certificate has a vital role to
be hired
, they will have greater job opportunities which,
consequently
, reducing the misdeed rate.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
locked away and society
effectively
protects.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, It
is maintained
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
off the streets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them re-offending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
cannot persuade others to commit a crime;
therefore
, The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who turning to breach is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Secondly
, this phenomenon can generate fear in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal’s
mind. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
any
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
, it will discourage him from becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
.
For example
, in the UAE, the rapist and the murderer
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lifetime prison sentences, resulting in making individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
any serious felony.
Hence
, imposing strict punishment deters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
crime.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
stand a better chance to benefit from a better life if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mindset and learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their lifestyle.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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