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Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal for driving cars or riding motorbikes. v. 1
Over the past decade, there is a tremendous rise in the number of road accidents by cars and bikes. This trend has led to an ongoing debate on devising various ways to increase the road safety. Some people believe that by putting an age restriction on the car drivers and motorbike riders can reduce the road accidents. I disagree with the above mentioned statement and this essay will elaborate on my view further with reasons and relevant examples. First, an increase of the minimum age cannot decrease the number of accidents because the people of a lower age bracket will still drive illegally in distant areas or at off- hours during the unavailability of traffic police. For example, the studies show that a maximum number of accidents by teenagers take place between 11 PM and 4 AM, when there is a limited surveillance by the traffic control. Therefore, an increase of the minimum legal cannot solve this problem. Moreover, not only the young people, but the people of all age groups are responsible for a surge in the number of accidents. To illustrate, a recent article in Toronto Star indicated that a majority of accidents that took place, in 2018 were 'drink and drive' cases, with ages ranging from 14 years to 55 years. Therefore, instead of a change in the age restriction, various reasons causing accidents need to be identified and eradicated. ''/; . . ''/;
Over the past decade, there is a tremendous rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
by cars and bikes. This trend has led to an ongoing debate on devising various ways to increase the road safety.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that by putting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
restriction on the car drivers and motorbike riders can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. I disagree with the above mentioned statement and this essay will elaborate on my view
further
with reasons and relevant examples.

First
, an increase of the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
cannot decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
bracket will
still
drive
illegally
in distant areas or at off- hours during the unavailability of traffic police.
For example
, the studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that a maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
take place between 11 PM and 4 AM, when there is a limited surveillance by the traffic control.
Therefore
, an increase of the minimum legal cannot solve this problem.

Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups are responsible for a surge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. To illustrate, a recent article in Toronto Star indicated that a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that took place, in 2018 were 'drink and drive' cases, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
ranging from 14 years to 55 years.
Therefore
,
instead
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
restriction, various reasons causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
need to
be identified
and eradicated.

''/;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
''/;
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal for driving cars or riding motorbikes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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