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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.476

Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 476
Parents are the best teachers in every individual' s life. Children are the mirror image of their parents. Some people say that classmates has more influence on a child' s success in school. On the contrary, I disagree to the statement that classmates has more influence than parents on a child' s success in school. First of all, children spend more time in front of their parents as compare to classmates. Parents had gone through their school so that they can guide their children in a better way and they may improve the abilities of their children. Moreover, parents are emotionally connected with their children so tat they can find the child' s problems and they can give a valuable solutions in the school as well as at home. In addition, parents know the child' s behavior, mood, strength points, weak points and hobbies. For this purpose parents are not only the best tutor but also the mentor too. For instance, if a girl or a boy child get less marks in their mid term examinations, as th parents know the child' s weak points, they motivate them instead of scolding. Further, parents encourage their children to participate in several activities by knowing their interests. Finally, child spend much of their time with classmates too. As a child spend a great time with classmates, got a lot of knowledge as well, but, as parents are the best friends, tutor, mentor, parent' s influence is more important on child' s success in life. By the way of conclusion, as parents solve the child' s problems, as children spend much of their time with parents, as parents encourage the child in different activities, parents has more important influence than classmates on a child' s success in school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the best teachers in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the mirror image of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
On the contrary
, I disagree to the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in school.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
had gone through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a better
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
way and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the abilities of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
emotionally
connected with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tat they can find the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they can give a valuable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "solution"?
solutions
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as well
as at home.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s behavior, mood, strength points, weak points and hobbies. For this purpose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the best tutor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the mentor too.
For instance
, if a girl or a boy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun marks is countable.
less
marks in their
This word is normally spelled as one.
mid term
examinations, as
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s weak points, they motivate them
instead
of scolding.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in several activities by knowing their interests.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
too. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the best friends, tutor, mentor,
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life.

By the way of conclusion, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
solve the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s problems, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 476

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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