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some people think that teacher should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so they can behave. Others say that teacher should only teach student academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some people think that teacher should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so they can behave. Others say that teacher should only teach student academic subjects. v. 1
Educators play an indispensable role in students' lives as they provide knowledge on diverse subjects. Some feel that teachers should confine themselves to teaching only academic subjects, while others feel that teachers are responsible for shaping student behaviour. In my perspective, teachers should only teach the curriculum, and parents should guide their offspring to behave properly. On the one hand, people who advocate that teachers should only teach school lessons, believe that in this contemporary era, is such a strenuous job due to the fierce competition that students have with their peers and for a prospective carrier. Indeed, only teachers who focus on the school curriculum can help students get good grades, which is the gateway to gain a place in renowned universities. On the other hand, some say that teachers ought to regiment students' basic manners and discipline apart from academics. This is because students spend most of their days in schools with teachers so they can monitor student demeanour to ensure they inculcate ethical values. In my opinion, children can learn by observing the basic personality traits of their parents. Therefore, parents can be role models for their offspring in how they carry themselves through life by politely speaking with the elderly and respecting the feelings of others. In conclusion, teachers are the second mother of students because they educate them to enlighten their future. Although a few teachers monitor student behaviour, I believe it is the sole responsibility of parents to set an example for their children for good behaviour.
Educators play an indispensable role in students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as they provide knowledge on diverse subjects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should confine themselves to teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
academic subjects, while others feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are responsible for shaping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
teach the curriculum, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should guide their offspring to behave
properly
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
teach school lessons, believe that in this contemporary era, is such a strenuous job due to the fierce competition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have with their peers and for a prospective carrier.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who focus on the school curriculum can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades, which is the gateway to gain a place in renowned universities.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
ought to regiment students' basic manners and discipline apart from academics. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend most of their days in schools with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can monitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake found.
demeanour
to ensure they inculcate ethical values.

In my opinion, children can learn by observing the basic personality traits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be role models for their offspring in how they carry themselves through life by
politely
speaking with the elderly and respecting the feelings of others.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are the second mother of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they educate them to enlighten their future. Although a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
monitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, I believe it is the sole responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to set an example for their children for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that teacher should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so they can behave. Others say that teacher should only teach student academic subjects. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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