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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v.8

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 8
Road accidents have always been the main concern as the solution for this situation is still a debatable discussion. Strict punishment for driving offences has been suggested as a key to reduce the frequency of traffic accidents. However, some people believe that other measures should be taken in order to improve road safety. Personally, I can understand these two opposing points of views. While I agree that punishment can be an effective way to reduce accidents, I also believe that it can be combined with other methods as well to solve the problem. On the one hand, I understand why strict punishments are needed in maintaining traffic order. If it had not been for the heavy fines, people would not voluntarily follow the rules and regulations and would break them if possible. In my country, for example, the number of deaths caused by drive accidents has risen significantly in recent years, especially around occasions like Tet holiday when traffic police does not appear very frequently. As a result, people drive more recklessly and break many rules because they are not afraid of being caught or charged with a heavy fine. Strict punishments, in a way, have served as a reminder for people to follow the rules when driving on the streets. On the other hand, I also appreciate the view that other measures are required beside the punishment to improve the road safety. While fines can be effective in reminding people not to make the same mistakes again, in the long run, it may cause certain backfire effects onto the behaviour of people. In some cases, they may no longer care or even ignore the rules as the fine is not effective anymore to alter their behaviour. In my opinion, other methods such as graphic or visual advertisements that send out educational messages about road rules will be more effective, as it can approach to a large audience at a wider scale. Promoting and encouraging people to follow transport rules through media like TV, radio or newspapers would enhance awareness, thus making them more likely to change their behaviour. All in all, even though strict punishments can be applied as one of the methods to increase transportation safety, it cannot be considered as the key measure to resolve the issue. I believe that there are other more important methods that can contribute much significant impact to the situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
have always been the main concern as the solution for this situation is
still
a debatable discussion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
has
been suggested
as a key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the frequency of traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures should
be taken
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.
Personally
, I can understand these two opposing points of views. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, I
also
believe that it can
be combined
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
as well
to solve the problem.

On the one hand, I understand why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are needed
in maintaining traffic order. If it had not been for the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not
voluntarily
follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations and would break them if possible. In my country,
for example
, the number of deaths caused by drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
has risen
significantly
in recent years,
especially
around occasions like Tet holiday when traffic police does not appear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drive more
recklessly
and break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not afraid of
being caught
or charged with a heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fine
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, in a way, have served as a reminder for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
when driving on the streets.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
also
appreciate the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
are required
beside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
in reminding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same mistakes again, in the long run, it may cause certain backfire effects onto the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, they may no longer care or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fine
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
anymore to alter their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
such as graphic or visual advertisements that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
out educational messages about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
will be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
, as it can approach to a large audience at a wider scale. Promoting and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
through media like TV, radio or newspapers would enhance awareness,
thus
making them more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

All in all,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can
be applied
as one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to increase transportation safety, it cannot
be considered
as the key measure to resolve the issue. I believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
that can contribute much significant impact to the situation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v.8