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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 7
Seldom, think that imposing heavy penalties for disobedience of traffic laws, play a vital role in the reduction of fatal situations on the roads. Whereas, others believe that providing the required facilities would improve road security. In my view, levying heavy penalties for breaking traffic guidelines and the provision of better roads and facilities for avoiding unnecessary occasions both are equally important. Although, the government has imposed penalties for breaking road safety laws. Many people take it 'at easy'. The carefree attitude of not losing anything big is the thought behind such breakages. If the government, imposes huge fines for careless drivers, then the situation might change. For instance, recently Mumbai city traffic governing body has imposed heavy penalties of Rs. 25000/- for parking in "no parking" specified areas. Also, the fines of jumping signals have been increased, to a great extent from Rs. 250/- to 1500/-. These, steps by the government has created a fear of paying heavy fine for careless mistakes. The civilians have hence, become more responsible after that. On the other hand, the governing body is equally responsible to provide better infrastructure for avoiding accidents. If necessary steps are taken for repairs, then the public will have a sense of appreciation for the law. By keeping this in mind, the highways and connecting roads should be maintained from time to time for safety purposes. To quote an instance, the highway tolls are collected for the maintenance of highways. To conclude, regulations and rules are necessary and go hand in hand with effective facilities for avoiding unexpected crashes.
The adverb 'Seldom' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Seldom
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for disobedience of traffic laws, play a vital role in the reduction of fatal situations on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others believe that providing the required facilities would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
security. In my view, levying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for breaking traffic guidelines and the provision of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and facilities for avoiding unnecessary occasions both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Although, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has imposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety laws.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take it 'at easy'. The carefree attitude of not losing anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
behind such breakages. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, imposes huge fines for careless drivers, then the situation might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
For instance
, recently Mumbai city traffic governing body has imposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
of Rs. 25000/- for parking in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
no parking
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
specified areas.
Also
, the fines of jumping signals have
been increased
, to a great extent from Rs. 250/- to 1500/-. These, steps by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has created a fear of paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heavy
fine for careless mistakes. The civilians have
hence
, become more responsible after that.

On the other hand
, the governing body is
equally
responsible to provide better infrastructure for avoiding accidents. If necessary steps
are taken
for repairs, then the public will have a sense of appreciation for the law. By keeping this in mind, the highways and connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
should
be maintained
from time to time for safety purposes. To quote an instance, the highway tolls
are collected
for the maintenance of highways.

To conclude
, regulations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are necessary and go hand in hand with effective facilities for avoiding unexpected crashes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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