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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Accidents due to traffic are increasing day by day. While many people believe that rigid punishments can help to reduce accidents on road, others tend to prefer another way to improve the safety on road. This essay will discuss how strict punishments can help people to stop violating the rules but why imposing fines and penalties is the more efficient and simple way. Nowadays, drivers are scared of strict punishments. A driver becomes more conscious while driving if he is afraid of the consequence that one will have to bear if he breaks the law. For example, traffic authorities imposed 20 years of imprisonment reduced the road offences by 70%. So, rigid punishments can help people to be more conscious which ultimately reduce accidents. However, many disagree and feel that imposing high fines and penalties can be a great and efficient solution. People will start following the rules and take precautions if they are concerned about not wasting money. For instance, this list of fines in new traffic rules decreased the number of accidents and other offence. So, high fines and penalties can result in both simple and rigid way at the same time. To conclude, strict punishments are not the only way. This essay discussed how rigid punishments are helpful but how another way can help more efficiently. In my opinion, high fines and penalties is a good solution.
Accidents due to traffic are increasing day by day. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rigid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
accidents on road, others tend to prefer another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the safety on road. This essay will discuss how strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
violating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
is the more efficient and simple way.

Nowadays, drivers
are scared
of strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
. A driver becomes more conscious while driving if he is afraid of the consequence that one will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear if he breaks the law.
For example
, traffic authorities imposed 20 years of imprisonment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the road
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offences’ is British English.
offences
by 70%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rigid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more conscious which
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
accidents.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disagree and feel that imposing high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
can be a great and efficient solution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and take precautions if they
are concerned
about not wasting money.
For instance
, this list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
in new traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
decreased the number of accidents and other
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offence’ is British English.
offence
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
can result in both simple and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rigid
way at the same time.

To conclude
, strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way. This essay discussed how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rigid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are helpful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how another way can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
more
efficiently
.

In my opinion, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution.
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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