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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.13

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 13
People have differing views with regard to the question of how making our roads safer. Some people believe that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents, while others think that other measures would be more effective for reducing traffic accidents. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits. On the one hand, it is undeniable that severe punishments have some positive effects on improving road safety. First of all, they can surely influence commuters’ behaviour. When strict traffic laws are imposed, drivers would need to control their private vehicles more carefully to avoid being punished. For example, if people were charged 1000 dollars or even had to go to prison for only exceeding the speed limit, they would become more disciplined and alert, and follow the rules more carefully. Therefore, a high level of fine can greatly contribute to the national budget. Receiving a significant amount of money paid by driving offenders, the government can invest more on improving infrastructure, which is necessary for ensuring traffic safety. On the other hand, another measure like improving the education training for new drivers, or analysing the records of previous traffic accidents then find problems in the entire traffic system and fix it will have a better effect. Firstly, it is vitally important to educate people properly before they start to drive, and this could be done in schools. Drivers license must be issued when the person can pass the driving test in addition to a patience test. The test of driver patience will also driver ensure that the driver maintains calmness in critical conditions. Furthermore, another solution to this issue is to invest more in road reconstruction and provide extensive warning signs on high-risk routes. Because bad geographical conditions are dangerous as well, accidents happen almost every day on narrow rocky roads in the mountainous areas, not to mention occasional landslide. In conclusion, punishing reckless drivers can be effective, but only solves part of the problem. To thoroughly ensure road safety, different approaches should be taken in different situations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have differing views with regard to the question of how making our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
safer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that strict punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
are the key to reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures would be more effective for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. In my view, both punishments and a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
together to promote better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
habits.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that severe punishments have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they can
surely
influence commuters’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. When strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws
are imposed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
would need to control their private vehicles more
carefully
to avoid
being punished
.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were charged
1000 dollars or even had to go to prison for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exceeding the speed limit, they would become more disciplined and alert, and follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
more
carefully
.
Therefore
, a high level of fine can
greatly
contribute to the national budget. Receiving a significant amount of money paid by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
offenders, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can invest more on improving infrastructure, which is necessary for ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
safety.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, another measure like improving the education training for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, or
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the records of previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
then find problems in the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it will have a better effect.
Firstly
, it is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to drive, and this could
be done
in schools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drivers
license
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be issued
when the person can pass the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
in addition
to a patience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
patience will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
maintains calmness in critical conditions.
Furthermore
, another solution to this issue is to invest more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
reconstruction and provide extensive warning signs on high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
routes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
geographical conditions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
happen almost every day on narrow rocky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in the mountainous areas, not to mention occasional landslide.

In conclusion
, punishing reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
can be effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solves part of the problem. To
thoroughly
ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches should
be taken
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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