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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possesions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possesions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 1
It is true that in modern life a great number of people consider that the wealth may consist of the customer's financial circumstances and their level in society. Ancient worth of the trustworthy and humbleness might be become superficial. I totally assert this point of view and in the essay the relative examples will be outlined, before some ideas are drawn. I truly advocate that opinion of the value are changed completely than it used to. Because in today's world almost every people endeavour to receive high income, salary and benefit in order to improve their social stature which is thought the key factors of the up-to-date individuals' worth. For example, one of the most popular businessmen of the world that MC. Donald can easily deserve customer among a large number of heart, because of him a great amount of money and a high rate of situation. As a result, almost every person as I think a soul's worth can be measured by their a financial force. On the other hand, although supports the kind of ideas which is a value based on finance would be sensible, it does not necessarily mean that all people think so. Since there are some who argue human's wealth may be not accounted via their social prominence or wealth. For instance, in India the intolerant, and kindness body will be admired much rather than the wealthy body. In that case this type of ideas may not be always true. All things considered, I reaffirm that despite there are some the against considerations, in the developed living people consider that worth is high level degree of money and dignity.
It is true that in modern life a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that the wealth may consist of the customer's financial circumstances and their level in society. Ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worth
of the trustworthy and humbleness might
be become
superficial. I
totally
assert this point of view and in the essay the relative examples will
be outlined
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are drawn
.

I
truly
advocate that opinion of the value are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
Use "(completely)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
completely
than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to receive high income, salary and benefit in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social stature which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
the key factors of the up-to-date individuals'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worth
.
For example
, one of the most popular businessmen of the world that MC. Donald can
easily
deserve customer among
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
heart,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of him a great amount of money and a high rate of situation.
As a result
, almost every person as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a soul's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worth
can
be measured
by
Did you mean "there"?
their
a financial force.

On the other hand
, although supports the kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which is a value based on finance would be sensible, it does not
necessarily
mean that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who argue human's wealth may be not accounted via their social prominence or wealth.
For instance
, in India the intolerant, and kindness body will
be admired
much
rather
than the wealthy body.
In that case
this type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
may not be always true.

All things considered, I reaffirm that despite there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the against considerations, in the developed living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worth
is high level degree of money and dignity.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possesions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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