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Some people think that strict punishment for driving offencesis th e only way to make road safer. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that strict punishment for driving offencesis th e only way to make road safer. v. 2
It is believed that imposing severe punishment on drivers who violate traffic laws is the only measure to improve the safety on roads. I strongly disagree with this statement because there are other measures that can be implemented to tackle this problem. While it is undeniable that punishing drivers who do not obey traffic regulations and laws severely can deter some drivers from behaving inconsiderately or even recklessly, it cannot contribute to a significant reduction in traffic accidents. This is because most accidents occur because the driver cannot resist some temptations such as drinking alcohol or because the driver is affected by distractions like phone calls or their bad moods. No matter how strict the laws are, they would not be effective to control the accident. Therefore, we should seek other alternatives to prevent accidents. To reduce the number of drivers offending regulations, it is necessary for the government to raise drivers’ awareness regarding the consequences of their offences and, more importantly, teach them simple strategies to cope with temptations and distractions. For example, if the government could encourage drivers to use soft drinks to replace alcohol and set their phones in airplane mode while driving, then the underlying/root causes of traffic accidents would be reduced. However, to improve road safety, only/simply promoting proper driving behaviours is not efficient, as there are some risks that are not caused by drivers. For example, poor road conditions and designs, extreme weather may also result in cars crashes. Therefore, the government should also concentrate on improving infrastructures and effective strategies to deal with extreme weathers. As discussed above, to improve road safety, imposing heavy punishments on drivers is not the only approach, thus, it is better for the government to look for more effective options.
It
is believed
that imposing severe punishment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
measure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the safety

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I
strongly
disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are other measures that can
be implemented
to tackle this problem.

While it is undeniable that punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who do not obey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
regulations and laws
severely
can deter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drivers

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
behaving
inconsiderately
or even
recklessly
, it cannot contribute to a significant reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
cannot resist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
temptations such as drinking alcohol or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by distractions like phone calls or their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
moods. No matter how strict the laws are, they would not be effective to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
.
Therefore
, we should seek other alternatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
accidents.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
offending regulations, it is necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers’
awareness regarding the consequences of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
and, more
importantly
, teach them simple strategies to cope with temptations and distractions.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
soft drinks to replace
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
alcohol


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
set their phones in airplane mode while driving, then the underlying/root causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

However
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
/
simply
promoting proper driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
is not efficient, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that are not caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
For example
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
conditions and designs, extreme weather may
also
result in cars crashes.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
concentrate on improving infrastructures and effective strategies to deal

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
extreme weathers.

As discussed above, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety, imposing heavy punishments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
approach,
thus
, it is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
better
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to look for more effective options.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishment for driving offencesis th e only way to make road safer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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