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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v.1

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 1
Every one yearn for a well-paid and comfortable job. However, those people supposed to reach their goal either to get a good certificate or learn from the work. In my personal angle, the two methods are basically no differences in learning, working experiences to guarantee to get a good job. To begin with, complete a course of university education capable of ensuring a standard of knowledge to a certain position of work. It is the comfortable way to guarantee a high-rank and high-salary job. But this kind of situation varies from person to person. Not everyone will stay for long if they are incompatible with the job. To be specified, some graduates do not combine theories and practice together. In other words their effort to spend their time at university to get their certificate, but not to learn knowledge from university. Moreover, university education equipped with abilities, to give students course that relate to another field, they hardly touch in daily life. As the proverb goes, it is best learned by doing. Practical ability is the key to an employee to consider his promotion, especially those who gain experience of the world of work. They'll master those skills easily by knowing working place. Actually, learn from school and working are basically the same because of the both are the places to acquire knowledge. Knowledge from books is transformed from practical ability. As for learning from the workplace, knowledge is accumulated and summarised from practical experiences. Reasons for employee to hire an employee is employee can provide their laborious hours and their skill to help companies generate profit. In return company give them a sum of money. To conclude, practical experience and ability is the key to guarantee a good job. Complete a course in university and start work after school to gain experience both can make it. However, the knowledge and ability they equip with to guarantee them to get a good job is different from person to person.
Every one yearn for a well-paid and comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
However
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
supposed to reach their goal either to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
certificate or learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In my personal angle, the two methods are
basically
no differences in learning, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guarantee
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, complete a course of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education capable of ensuring a standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to a certain position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It is the comfortable way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guarantee
a high-rank and high-salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this kind of situation varies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Not everyone will stay for long if they are incompatible with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. To
be specified
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
graduates do not combine theories and practice together.
In other words
their effort to spend their time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their certificate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from university.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education equipped with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
, to give students course that relate to another field, they hardly touch in daily life.

As the proverb goes, it is best learned by doing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
is the key to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to consider his promotion,
especially
those who gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. They'll master those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
easily
by knowing working place.

Actually, learn from school and working are
basically
the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the both are the places to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
from books
is transformed
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
. As for learning from the workplace,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is accumulated
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarised' is British English.
summarised
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. Reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to hire an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can provide their laborious hours and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
generate profit. In return
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
give them a sum of money.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
is the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guarantee
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Complete a course in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after school to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
both can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
they equip with to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guarantee
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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