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Some people think that some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are too difficult for children to learn at school They think that these subjects should be made optional rather than compulsory To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people think that some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are too difficult for children to learn at school They think that these subjects should be made optional rather than compulsory v. 2
Nowadays, more and more students have difficulties in studying mathematics and philosophy. I suggest that either philosophy or mathematics should be mandatory for all students because these two subjects develop logical or rational thinking, useful for the further education. Mathematics should be compulsory for all people who do sciences. Therefore, mathematics influences the power of making connections between theory and applied situations. Many people will be capable of linking logically the new concepts with their experience knowledge. For instance, interpretation of acceleration and speed in physics requires some useful captures in Mathematics such as integrals, derivates. What is more, even though maths can mean just only calculus, this subject can explain the configuration of many creatures in the wild, for example, sunflowers. Philosophy should be compulsory for all people who learn an art. Therefore, philosophy influences the power of reasoning according to a thesis. Many people will be able to explain rationally important terms which are important for current situations in the world. For example, the UNO' s principles are formulated according to some ideas given by philosophers who lived during the second world war. What is more, even though philosphy can mean only memorising the quotes of famous people, this subject can develop critical thinking. In conclusion, mathematics and philosophy can develop and improve some cognitive abilities.
Nowadays, more and more students have difficulties in studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
. I suggest that either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
should be mandatory for all students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these two subjects develop logical or rational thinking, useful for the
further
education.

Mathematics should be compulsory for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do sciences.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
influences the power of making connections between theory and applied situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be capable of linking
logically
the new concepts with their experience knowledge.
For instance
, interpretation of acceleration and speed in physics requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful captures in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mathematics
such as integrals,
Possible spelling mistake found.
derivates
.
What is more
,
even though
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths can
mean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
calculus, this subject can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the configuration of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creatures in the wild,
for example
, sunflowers.

Philosophy should be compulsory for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who learn an art.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
influences the power of reasoning according to a thesis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
rationally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
terms which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situations in the world.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNO&
#039; s principles
are formulated
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by philosophers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
during the second world war.
What is more
,
even though
Possible spelling mistake found.
philosphy
can mean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorising' is British English.
memorising
the quotes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this subject can develop critical thinking.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
can develop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cognitive abilities.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are too difficult for children to learn at school They think that these subjects should be made optional rather than compulsory v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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