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Many employers are employing people with good social skills as well as good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that good social skills is as important as good qualifications to succeed in job? v.2

Many employers are employing people with good social skills as well as good qualifications. that good social skills is as important as good qualifications to succeed in job? v. 2
Employers look for some qualities in an employee at the time of recruitment. Some people claim that a well qualified employee must also possess good social skills in order to be successful in the workplace. I completely agree with this statement, because a qualified worker who is social can create a happy environment and healthy competition at work. Firstly, the working environment must be happy in order to achieve success. An employee with good interpersonal skills will share some productive thoughts with Co workers. The colleagues will be happy to discuss freely and put in their views as well. In addition, they take a break for a cup of coffee or tea where they talk about general matters other than work. Moreover, nowadays there are cultural clubs at offices and an employee, who is social can take part in singing during some office celebrations. Therefore, it will cut down the stress levels in the workplace and enhance their efficiency in job. For instance, a research conducted by Havard university noted that 80% of the doctors who are socially inactive are unhappy, although they are efficient professionally. Secondly, these workers with good social skills are not only competitive but they also create a healthy competition among colleagues. A company can progress, only if the employees are competitive. So, there must be a healthy competition among workers. In other words, some creative idea by an employee must be encouraged and honestly appreciated by everyone. Further, this motivates themselves to put in extra efforts to achieve success in their careers. For example, in certain software companies the best employee of the month is chosen by other workers and not the employer. In conclusion, even though employers must consider many qualities before hiring an employee, two most important ones are qualified and good social skills to be considered. Because, the working environment needs to have healthy competition and happiness, so that it can progress.
Employers look for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
qualities in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
at the time of recruitment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that a well qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
possess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in order to be successful in the workplace. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
can create a happy environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
at work.

Firstly
, the working environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be happy in order to achieve success. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
productive thoughts with Co
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. The colleagues will be happy to discuss
freely
and put in their views
as well
.
In addition
, they take a break for a cup of coffee or tea where they talk about general matters other than work.
Moreover
, nowadays there are cultural clubs at offices and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
, who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in singing during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
office celebrations.
Therefore
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels in the workplace and enhance their efficiency in job.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Havard
university noted that 80% of the doctors who are
socially
inactive are unhappy, although they are efficient
professionally
.

Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
competitive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among colleagues. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can progress,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are competitive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
and
honestly
appreciated by everyone.
Further
, this motivates themselves to put in extra efforts to achieve success in their careers.
For example
, in certain software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
of the month
is chosen
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
and not the employer.

In conclusion
,
even though
employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
qualities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
hiring an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
, two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ones
are qualified
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
be considered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, the working environment needs to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and happiness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can progress.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Many employers are employing people with good social skills as well as good qualifications. that good social skills is as important as good qualifications to succeed in job? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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