Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.22

To preserve history, culture and heritage of a nation, museum plays a pivotal role and it is one of the entity where different artefact, paintings, precious materials are reserved which have a great significance. Agreeable to the order of the day, there has been a surge number of museums which are imposing a fee to visit the place when others allowed people for free. However, I deem that taking a charge for entering the museum is more advantageous because it helps the authority for further improvement and also make an effort to employment. Admittedly, in this day and age it can be seen that a number of museums take entry fee or a small amount of money from the travellers and it brings a lot of benefits. To be more precise, with the advent of the money authority can use the savings for future development of the centre and also for repairing its infrastructural damage. To cite an example, world’s largest museum named Louvre located at Paris in France where the great piece of work named ‘Mona Lisa’ of Leonardo da Vinci is perpetuated, they always take around $17 from the explorer and use it for the maintenance of the place. Likewise, collecting money from the visitors the authority can contribute a substantial proportion for the worker of the museum. Specifically, there are lot of employees and worker need for the maintenance as well as protection of such museums. Indeed it is really tough for any organization or government to pay them because they have more concerns issues. To exemplify, if the remuneration and wages come from the admission money then the government or authority can provide the share for another development sector. In essence, even though for such an initiative both positive and negative development are feasible however I wholeheartedly believe that if museum take an extra cost then it will be more worthy. So I unequivocally support my stance of taking a minimal fee for the entrance of any museum.
To preserve history, culture and heritage of a nation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
plays a pivotal
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
role and
it is one of the entity where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. ‘artefact’ is British English.
artefact
, paintings, precious materials
are reserved
which have a great significance. Agreeable to the order of the day, there has been a surge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which are imposing a fee to visit the place when others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for free.
However
, I deem that taking a charge for entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is more advantageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
for
further
improvement and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to employment.

Admittedly
, in this day and age it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
take entry fee or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
travellers and
it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits. To be more precise, with the advent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the savings for future development of the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
and
also
for repairing its infrastructural damage. To cite an example, world’s largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
named Louvre located at Paris in France where the great piece of work named ‘Mona Lisa’ of Leonardo da Vinci
is perpetuated
, they always take around $17 from the explorer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for the maintenance of the place.

Likewise
, collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the visitors the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
can contribute a substantial proportion for the worker of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Specifically
, there are
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “a lot of”?
lot of
employees and worker need for the maintenance
as well
as protection of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
it is
really
tough for any organization or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to pay them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more concerns issues. To exemplify, if the remuneration and wages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
can provide the share for another development sector.

In essence,
even though
for such an initiative both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development are feasible
however
I
wholeheartedly
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
take an extra cost then it will be more worthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
unequivocally
support my stance of taking a minimal fee for the entrance of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts