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Libraries should be shut down as better alternatives are available. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Libraries should be shut down as better alternatives are available. v. 1
In the recent times, an immense development in the technological area, has led to to be convenient for people to access and read any information online. However, it has been a controversial topic among people, whether we need the existence of libraries are not in our community today. In my view, libraries are an important place to gain knowledge and build bonds between people, so their existence plays a vital role. To start with, libraries have been existing since centuries. It is a quiet place, where people can without distraction indulge in reading books. It also consists of a number of books which might not be available online. In addition, it is also a source of revenue for the writers. Thou some agree on publishing their work online, a number of them may not. Also, along with availability, the content available online can be a pirated version, this would not be beneficial for the writer and the reader as well. Moreover, the physical book can help in creating a feel of the book. It also helps in impacting a greater interest among people to read books. In addition, the library also helps in building social engagement among people, who enjoy reading together around can be at one place together, and can share their views on the books read, which can also help in building bond among people. Some libraries also organise events such as, book reading, writing competitions which can further help at bring people in the society closer. In conclusion, reading books in the traditional way is vital, the digital gadgets cannot replace the feel of the book. Hence, the library's existence in our society is significant.
In the recent times, an immense development in the technological area, has led
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
be convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access and read any information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
However
, it has been a controversial topic among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whether we need the existence of libraries are not in our community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In my view, libraries are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place to gain knowledge and build bonds between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their existence plays a vital role.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, libraries have been existing since centuries. It is a quiet place, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can without distraction indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. It
also
consists of a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which might not be available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
In addition
, it is
also
a source of revenue for the writers. Thou
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on publishing their work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, a number of them may not.
Also
, along with availability, the content available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can be a pirated version, this would not be beneficial for the writer and the reader
as well
.

Moreover
, the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in creating a feel of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. It
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in impacting a greater interest among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
In addition
, the library
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in building social engagement among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
together around can be at one place together, and can share their views on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
read, which can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in building bond among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
libraries
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, writing competitions which can
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
at bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society closer.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in the traditional way is vital, the digital gadgets cannot replace the feel of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Hence
, the library's existence in our society is significant.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Libraries should be shut down as better alternatives are available. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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