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Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. v. 2
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that, whether criminals should keep imprisoned for a long time or they should give proper education and job training for came back to normal life. A lion's share of the society favours it, however the rest goes adverse it. I complete agree with the view that, criminals should give education and training instead of long prison. The following paragraph's would highlight my personal perspective along with an apt example. I see eye to eye, with the central idea for various reasons. Proper education and training for jobs is the main factor by a person can change his views and status. Therefore, by educating and allow them for appropriate training the government gives them a chance to leave all harmful crimes and leave a better soul. For example, if someone is busy with instead of the seat alone in prison and thinking of revenge they can plan about their future. As a result, citizens feel safer and less anxious life. In addition, learning enlightens up their lives as they will be able to earn respect from society on the basis of qualification which halt them to join bad company. On the loggerhead, some critics go against the above discussed assertions. According to some people the policy may not have benefits on the convicts who had committed a serious and unforgivable misdeed. Hence, the convicts who are in jail and taken away from their human right deserve their sin. They are not capable of any treatment and scheme like these which is seen as a enjoyment for the taxpayer or a victim. For instance, a godfather who did several murders and rapes must be punished by life imprisonment or the death sentence. With such concern, I suggest that it should be planned with a clear level of crime system to evaluate their crime. Thus, different levels will give degrees of tasks and works and also eliminate citizens' doubt and worry. In conclusion, it is a controversial issue to consider a new and simple change of existing prison system. I believe that, given the level crime of the system and apply to the scheme, it will be better and has positive and certain influence in both society and wrongdoers.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that, whether criminals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
imprisoned for a long
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time or
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
proper education and job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for came back to normal life. A lion's share of the society
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
it,
however
the rest goes adverse it. I complete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that, criminals should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
instead
of long prison. The following paragraph's would highlight my personal perspective along with an apt example.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye, with the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for various reasons. Proper education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for jobs is the main factor by a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his views and status.
Therefore
, by educating and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them for appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
them a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
all harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a better soul.
For example
, if someone is busy with
instead
of the seat alone in prison and thinking of revenge they can plan about their future.
As a result
, citizens feel safer and less anxious life.
In addition
, learning enlightens up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as they will be able to earn respect from society on the basis of qualification which halt them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the loggerhead,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics go against the above discussed assertions. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the policy may not have benefits on the convicts who had committed a serious and unforgivable misdeed.
Hence
, the convicts who are in jail and taken away from their human right deserve their sin. They are not capable of any treatment and scheme like these which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
enjoyment for the taxpayer or a victim.
For instance
, a godfather who did several murders and rapes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be punished
by life imprisonment or the death sentence. With such concern, I suggest that it should
be planned
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
system to evaluate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
degrees of tasks and works and
also
eliminate citizens' doubt and worry.

In conclusion
, it is a controversial issue to consider a new and simple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of existing prison system. I believe that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
of the system and apply to the scheme, it will be better and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and certain influence in both society and wrongdoers.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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