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Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. v. 1
A much debated issue these days is whether school should teach student by using books or not. Students can learn knowledge easily from several media due to the development of technology. Personally, I believe books are necessary in study, but other study ways also have their advantages. The positive aspect of using books is that knowledge can be presented systematically. For students who start learning some subjects, building knowledge system can help them understand it fast and clear, which is beneficial for further study. For example, usually minors are recommended a grammar book to start learning English instead of English films. The reason is sentences are built by basic knowledge system as grammar. Without the understanding of that, sentences are incomprehensible. Therefore, books are important for someone who starts studying and trying to build a knowledge system. Nevertheless, knowledge provided by paper-based books is limited. So I approbate that teenagers can acquire large information from films, TV, and video games, and the way they provide is more interested than books. For instance, a famous game called assassin’s creed, which put an assassin in certain history letting player to control it. Therefore, the player will learn much historical knowledge from the progresses. Hence I think if someone has basic knowledge, Media like films, TV, and video games as an eye-opener is good for him/her to expand the boundaries of knowledge. These forms are more enjoyable than books, which show content in vivid ways. In the long run, studying in this way is beneficial for learning interests and knowledge scope. Thus, Minors can be more interested in study. In summary, it seems to me that books are positive in the beginning of study, while other ways are helpful for study widely.
A much debated issue these days is whether school should teach student by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or not. Students can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
easily
from several media due to the development of technology.
Personally
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are necessary in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
also
have their advantages.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can
be presented
systematically
. For students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjects, building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
system can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, which is beneficial for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For example
,
usually
minors
are recommended
a grammar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning English
instead
of English films. The reason is sentences
are built
by basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
system as grammar. Without the understanding of that, sentences are incomprehensible.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for someone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
studying and trying to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
system.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
provided by paper-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is limited
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
approbate
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can acquire large information from films, TV, and video games, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
they provide is more interested than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
game called assassin’s creed, which put an assassin in certain history letting player to control it.
Therefore
, the player will learn much historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from the progresses.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if someone has basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, Media like films, TV, and video games as an eye-opener is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for him/her to expand the boundaries of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. These forms are more enjoyable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
content in vivid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. In the long run, studying in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
is beneficial for learning interests and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
scope.
Thus
, Minors can be more interested in study.

In summary, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in the beginning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
are helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
widely
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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