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Some people think that recruiting companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that recruiting companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. v. 3
Although, some people believe that hiring companies should target to hire the people who are more creative and have the ability to perform tasks independently, whereas other people consider that the employers should employ the people that can work in a team and follow the instructions. Thus, this essay will discuss both these views and afterward I will give my opinion in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, the first argument suggests, nearly all firms aim to recruit those employees, who are able to contribute new ideas for the prosperity of the company. This is because every company has to survive in a highly competitive market for which they aspire for the best fit for the organization. For Example, Honda is well known for having some of the best minds, who have proved capable of keeping the dignified repute of their employers. Therefore, the companies that are well recognised and holds a significant market, always hunt best contributors for the job. On the other hand, other counterparts opines that teamwork and holding the quality of following protocols is an indispensable part of a good worker. Owing to the fact that such qualities in the staff positively adds to the well-being of an organization. Additionally, these elements enable the owner to administer the whole staff smoothly, also these factors create the suitable environment for working. Hence, if these facts are lacking in a person, he is more likely to encounter conflict in the workplace. Thereafter, every person should be able to listen and work as a team. To Conclude the aforementioned, I am inclined to firmly concur with the first view point. Due to the evident examples present in the world, who have held brilliant minds as a staff and experienced many successes in history. Furthermore, my opinion is logical and compelling as teamwork and following the instructions could be learnt through in-house training.
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should target to hire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more creative and have the ability to perform tasks
independently
, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that the employers should employ the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that can work in a team and follow the instructions.
Thus
, this essay will discuss both these views and afterward I will give my opinion in the ensuing paragraphs.

On the one hand, the
first
argument suggests,
nearly
all firms aim to recruit those employees,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are able to contribute new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for the prosperity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
survive in a
highly
competitive market for which they aspire for the best fit for the organization.
For Example
, Honda is well known for having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best minds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have proved capable of keeping the dignified repute of their employers.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that are well
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
and holds a significant market, always
A determiner is probably missing here: "hunt the best".
hunt best
contributors for the job.

On the other hand
, other counterparts opines that teamwork and holding the quality of following protocols is an indispensable part of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
worker. Owing to the fact that such qualities in the staff
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the well-being of an organization.
Additionally
, these elements enable the owner to administer the whole staff
smoothly
,
also
these factors create the suitable environment for working.
Hence
, if these facts are lacking in a person, he is more likely to encounter conflict in the workplace. Thereafter, every person should be able to listen and work as a team.

To Conclude
the aforementioned, I
am inclined
to
firmly
concur with the
first
view point. Due to the evident examples present in the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have held brilliant minds as a staff and experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successes in history.
Furthermore
, my opinion is logical and compelling as teamwork and following the instructions could be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
through in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
training.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that recruiting companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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