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Some people think that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose. v. 1
Nowadays there are many ways to get the news about the events, things happening round the world. Few people are of opinion that radio is the best option of news, while some others agree with television being the ideal source of news. In my essay I will discuss both the views and share my opinion too. From the ancient times till today radio has been an effective way to receive the information about the events happening around the world. To begin with, radio is easily accessible. As most of us spend a lot of time travelling to work, as it becomes an easy access to listen to all the latest news. In addition, the older people preferred radio news more because they use it for too long and become habitual with it and they believe radio is ideal for them. However, as the life evolved, man made progress in everything they did. And as a result, in technological progress television was invented. TV is one step ahead of radio where we can see the picture as well as hear the audio. This makes the person watching the news more connected. Furthermore, People will get more information as they see news on the television. For an example, when we watch news about car accident as we can easily observe the damage and root cause and even though we are not there. In conclusion, Both radio and television are the best ways to receive information about the things occurring around the globe with TV being one step ahead of radio having video feature as well.
Nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, things happening round the world. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is the best option of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
being the ideal source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. In my essay I will discuss both the views and share my opinion too.

From the ancient times till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
has been an effective way to receive the information about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happening around the world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is
easily
accessible. As most of us spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time travelling to work, as it becomes
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
to listen to all the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
In addition
, the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for too long and become habitual with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is ideal for them.

However
, as the life evolved,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made progress in everything they did. And
as a result
, in technological progress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
was invented
. TV is one step ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
where we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the picture
as well
as hear the audio. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the person watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
more connected.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. For an example, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about car accident as we can
easily
observe the damage and root cause and
even though
we are not there.

In conclusion
, Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are the best ways to receive information about the things occurring around the globe with TV being one step ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
having video feature
as well
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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