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An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online. v.14

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online. v. 14
The sprawling growth of supermarkets in various countries has adversely affected small local businesses as they struggle to face fierce competition. While it is a prevalent perception that the cessation of local businesses will result in the demise of local communities, I do not support this idea due to the following reasons. There is a widespread notion that the proliferation of supermarkets will wipe out local communities. However, the reality is that supermarkets can help revitalize the local community. To illustrate, the town where I live always wore a deserted look. This all changed after the inauguration of well-known supermarket chain in my locality. The entire area transformed into a bustling town. Moreover, supermarkets serve local communities by offering them a range of products at competitive prices. Since supermarkets are bulk buyers, which means that they enjoy economy of scale and are in the position to offer unlimited and diverse products at a cheaper price to their customers. For instance, a member of the local community can find an imported product in a supermarket which might not be available at a local shop which not only gives more choice and freedom to the consumer, but also raises their standard of living manifold. Furthermore, supermarkets play an active role in the community by creating jobs. For example, a local shop might be managed and operated by a sole proprietor whereas, supermarket chains are mostly corporate entities which employ several hundred even several thousand people. Therefore, on the basis of aforementioned reasons, it would be justified to say that the positive correlation of the closure of local businesses with the death of local communities is merely a myth. I strongly believe that local communities will thrive as supermarkets flourish
The sprawling growth of supermarkets in various countries has
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses as they struggle to face fierce competition. While it is a prevalent perception that the cessation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses will result in the demise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, I do not support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
due to the following reasons.

There is a widespread notion that the proliferation of supermarkets will wipe out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
However
, the reality is that supermarkets can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
revitalize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. To illustrate, the town where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
always wore a deserted look. This all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
after the inauguration of well-known supermarket chain in my locality. The entire area transformed into a bustling town.

Moreover
, supermarkets serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
by offering them a range of products at competitive prices. Since supermarkets are bulk buyers, which means that they enjoy economy of scale and are in the position to offer unlimited and diverse products at a cheaper price to their customers.
For instance
, a member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
can find an imported product in a supermarket which might not be available at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives more choice and freedom to the consumer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
raises their standard of living manifold.

Furthermore
, supermarkets play an active role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
by creating jobs.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop might
be managed
and operated by a sole proprietor whereas, supermarket chains are
mostly
corporate entities which employ several hundred even several thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Therefore
, on the basis of aforementioned reasons, it would
be justified
to say that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
correlation of the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses with the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
is
merely
a myth. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
will thrive as supermarkets
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
flourish
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online. v. 14

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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