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some people think that public health of a country can be improved if the government makes laws regarding nutritious food but other things that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibilities discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

some people think that public health of a country can be improved if the government makes laws regarding nutritious food but other things that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibilities v. 2
It is believed that, a person with good health can become successful in comparison with that person who is not healthy. So, health always been debatable issue all over the decades. Some people have opinion that, by making rules and regulations on healthy food items, government can improve the level of health among the people, however others say that it is only depend on an individual' s choice to be aware about his or her health conditions. To begin with, due to globalisation and modernization there are a number of options available in the market to eat. Since people these days have a hectic lifestyle, they prefer to eat fast food than cooking food at home. This trend is increasing day by day. Thus, today, fitness and health rate is deteriorating gradually. To overcome this problem, government should make some effective rules. By doing that, probably government will be successful to keep up nutrients in the individuals' diet. Further, may be people will not suffer from the chronic diseases such as, obesity and the high blood pressure. On the other hand, some people think that eating food is their own choice. According to them, imposing rules, is not a productive way to solve the problem of bad eating habits among people. This practice can make the people against the regime, as they suggest that they have several rights, which allows them to live independent life. Therefor, regulating food stuff is infringement in their life. Moreover, in this modern era everybody has knowledge about every kind of food, they know which food items have what effects on their health in the future. In conclusion, people have opted modern world' s eating habits, which become the reason of degradation of health. I think, government should make the rules for nutritious food by considering the choices of people.
It
is believed
that, a person with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
can become successful
in comparison
with that person who is not healthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'been'.
always been
debatable issue all over the decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have opinion that, by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations on healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
others say that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depend on an
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s choice to be aware about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and modernization there are a number of options available in the market to eat. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days have a hectic lifestyle, they prefer to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home. This trend is increasing day by day.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, fitness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
rate is deteriorating
gradually
. To overcome this problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. By doing that,
probably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will be successful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up nutrients in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
individuals&
#039; diet.
Further
, may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not suffer from the chronic diseases such as, obesity and the high blood pressure.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice. According to them, imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, is not a productive way to solve the problem of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
eating habits among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This practice can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
against the regime, as they suggest that they have several rights, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independent life. Therefor, regulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stuff is infringement in their life.
Moreover
, in this modern era everybody has knowledge about every kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, they know which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items have what effects on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the future.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have opted modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
world&
#039; s eating habits, which become the reason of degradation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by considering the choices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that public health of a country can be improved if the government makes laws regarding nutritious food but other things that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibilities v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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