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Some people think that private health care is better for people. Other say that health care should be free of charge and run by the government. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of private health service. v.2

Some people think that private health care is better for people. Other say that health care should be free of charge and run by the government. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of private health service. v. 2
With development of techonogicial advances on the health system, the issue of whether private healtcare system should be established has become debated issue all over the world. This essay is of opinion that all countries should focus on state health system instead of paying attention private ones and will explain both advantages and disadvantages of this topic in forthcoming paragraphs deeply with examples. There is no doubt that private healtcare system is much more benefit in compared to state ones. As we know and experienced that state hospitals are often small and limited in terms of numbers of room, personal, conditions and so on. However, when we look at the conditions of private system, we can not say same things. For example, according to World Health Service, patients are waiting more than 75 minutes in the states services, while these times are remaining under half an hour in private ones as they have shorter waiting lists for operations and appoinments. On the other hand, private system has some negative sides as well. Though state services are paid the government using money from taxes and budget, one should pay themselves all prices of the treatment in such system. In addition to that private system can be considered as unfair since only wealth peope afford it. National Healtgh Service, for example, in the UK provides free health care for every resident without looking that they have insuruance. In conclusion, two system has both pros and cons but improving state health service by governments should be first and foremost duty for all countries.
With development of
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techonogicial
advances on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, the issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
healtcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
should
be established
has become debated issue all over the world. This essay is of opinion that all countries should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
instead
of paying attention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both advantages and disadvantages of this topic in forthcoming paragraphs
deeply
with examples.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
healtcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is much more benefit in compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. As we know and experienced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
hospitals are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and limited in terms of numbers of room, personal, conditions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, when we look at the conditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, we can not say same things.
For example
, according to World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Service
, patients are waiting more than 75 minutes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, while these times are remaining under half an hour in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
as they have shorter waiting lists for operations and
Possible spelling mistake found.
appoinments
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides
as well
. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are paid
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
using money from taxes and budget, one should pay themselves all prices of the treatment in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
In addition
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can
be considered
as unfair since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealth
Possible spelling mistake found.
peope
afford it. National
Possible spelling mistake found.
Healtgh
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Service
,
for example
, in the UK provides free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care for every resident without looking that they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
insuruance
.

In conclusion
, two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has both pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should be
first
and foremost duty for all countries.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that private health care is better for people. Other say that health care should be free of charge and run by the government. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of private health service. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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