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Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. v. 4

Punishing offenders with a detention time has been a controversial topic for many years. Because there is a thought in the society that believe, with the help of rehabilitation programs these people can be brought into the correct path. I agree that well organized training sessions would help prisoners to develop certain skills that will be useful when they are released. Firstly, although they have made some mistakes along the way, the majority of these individuals are good in their hearts. Unfortunately, the current prison system does not provide  a fair chance for them to become better citizens. For instance, when a person first enters to a jail, it is surrounded by various types of criminals who have been locked up for several years, in a order to survive in this unpleasant environment aforementioned person has to blend in with those with bad intentions. Hence, if these detentions have better methods to get themselves busy with, then they would not end up with the bad influence of other dangerous offenders. On the other hand, the skills taught during lock-up time would be enormously valuable in their future. For example, assume that a particular person gets released from a lock-up that had given him specific knowledge about a job. Then, at least that person has an opportunity to select the best path other than continuing previous disruptive lifestyle. Moreover, the self confidence it provides is crucial to build up the lost self respect of theirs. In addition, these programs offer a numerous benefits for the society such as producing more trained work force for a nation and helping to reduce the crimes around a country. In conclusion, the prisoner education and skill training programs have a number of advantages such as building trained workforce and motivating offenders to leave the criminal activities. Therefore, such actions would generate great many of benefits for the society and for the individuals.

IELTS essay Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Punishing offenders with a detention time has been a controversial topic for
many
years.
Because
there is a
thought
in the society that believe, with the
help
of rehabilitation programs these
people
can
be brought
into the correct path. I
agree
that well organized training sessions would
help
prisoners to develop certain
skills
that will be useful when they
are released
.
Firstly
, although they have made
some
mistakes along the way, the majority of these individuals are
good
in their hearts. Unfortunately, the
current
prison system does not provide
 
a
fair
chance for them to become better citizens.
For instance
, when a
person
first
enters to a jail, it
is surrounded
by various types of criminals who have
been locked
up for several years, in
a
order to survive in this unpleasant environment aforementioned
person
has to
blend in with those with
bad
intentions.
Hence
, if these detentions have better methods to
get
themselves busy with, then they would not
end
up with the
bad
influence of other
dangerous
offenders.
On the other hand
, the
skills
taught during lock-up time would be
enormously
valuable in their future.
For example
, assume that a particular
person
gets
released from a lock-up that had
given
him specific knowledge about a job. Then, at least that
person
has an opportunity to select the best path other than continuing previous disruptive lifestyle.
Moreover
, the
self confidence
it provides is crucial to build up the lost
self respect
of theirs.
In addition
, these programs offer a numerous
benefits
for the society such as producing more trained work force for a nation and helping to
reduce
the crimes around a country.
In conclusion
, the prisoner education and
skill
training programs have a number of advantages such as building trained workforce and motivating offenders to
leave
the criminal activities.
Therefore
, such actions would generate great
many
of benefits for the society and for the individuals.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
317 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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