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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree? v.6

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 6
There is an increasingly growing popular belief that young people should be forced to take part in volunteer activities to contribute to the society in their spare time. While I agree with the thought that it is beneficial to both students and the public, I believe that youngsters should not be obliged to do community service without being paid. On the one hand, there are several benefits of giving young students the added responsibility of doing unpaid work. Firstly, by doing these works, teenagers can accumulate valuable experiences and essential skills for their future career. In addition, they will be given the opportunity to have better resumes, which is useful once they start pursuing higher education or seeking jobs. Finally, the public also benefits from this group of people as they help to finish the necessary work. On the other hand, I disagree with the idea that serving the community without any financial incentive should be voluntary. One reason is that the amount of work that needs to be done at school is already enormous. Children nowadays are forced to attend several cram schools and extra classes, which, according to numerous parents, will help them to obtain better academic results. Another important factor is that youngsters need sometimes for themselves to develop their own interests, make some new friends or take up new sports. In conclusion, although I accept that doing community service without payment is advantageous to both the society and students individually, I do not consider the idea that it should be made compulsory.
There is an
increasingly
growing popular belief that young
people
should
be forced
to
take part
in volunteer activities to contribute to the society in their spare time. While I
agree
with the
thought
that it is beneficial to both students and the public, I believe that youngsters should not
be obliged
to do community service without
being paid
.

On the one hand, there are several benefits of giving young students the
added
responsibility of doing unpaid work.
Firstly
, by doing these works,
teenagers
can accumulate valuable experiences and essential
skills
for their future career.
In addition
, they will be
given
the opportunity to have better resumes, which is useful once they
start
pursuing higher education or seeking jobs.
Finally
, the public
also
benefits from this group of
people
as they
help
to finish the necessary work.

On the other hand
, I disagree with the
idea
that serving the community without any financial incentive should be voluntary. One reason is that the amount of work that needs to
be done
at school is already enormous. Children nowadays
are forced
to attend several cram schools and extra classes, which, according to numerous parents, will
help
them to obtain better academic results. Another
important
factor is that youngsters need
sometimes
for themselves to develop their
own
interests,
make
some
new friends or take up new sports.

In conclusion
, although I accept that doing community service without payment is advantageous to both the society and students
individually
, I do not consider the
idea
that it should
be made
compulsory.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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