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Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. v. 4
People have different views about whether paying taxes is the only responsibility that citizens should fulfil. While I admit that taxes undoubtedly do contribute significantly to society, I think that other social commitments are equally important. The argument in favour of the idea that paying tax is enough may involve the recognition that people already fulfil their responsibilities through the tax system. They may take, for instance, living in a secure nation and enjoy high-quality education as granted, because it is the tax they paid that finally becomes the salary for public servants, such as polices and teachers. Additionally, some people may hold the view that they are too busy to serve the public, and it seems that paying taxes is the only way they can pay back to society. I believe such an idea would be selfish and short-sighted, as even a small good like donating clothes to people in need can make a change to the world. Moreover, I would agree with those who believe that people have to take more social responsibilities. The main reason for this view is that nations may occasionally be faced with unexpected emergency events like plague, and this is the moment that citizens should take more responsibilities on their shoulders. To take Chinese people as an example, the idea of sacrificing one’s self for a greater, national goal is deeply-embedded in Chinese culture; and thus they are willing to give up the so-called “physical freedom” and quarantine themselves at home in order to contain the spread of the virus. Without such endeavour, there is no chance to count on that the authority could tack the problem alone. In conclusion, although paying taxes are sure to be of vital importance in terms of the responsibility of citizenships, I believe that every effort should be made to serve society and build a better world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
that citizens should fulfil. While I admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
undoubtedly
do contribute
significantly
to society, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that other social commitments are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

The argument in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
may involve the recognition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already fulfil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
system. They may take,
for instance
, living in a secure nation and enjoy high-quality education as granted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
they paid that
finally
becomes the salary for public servants, such as polices and teachers.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold the view that they are too busy to serve the public, and it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way they can pay back to society. I believe such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
would be selfish and short-sighted, as even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
like donating clothes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the world.

Moreover
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take more social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
. The main reason for this view is that nations may
occasionally
be faced
with unexpected emergency
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like plague, and this is the moment that citizens should take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
on their shoulders. To take Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as an example, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of sacrificing one’s self for a greater, national goal is
deeply
-embedded in Chinese culture; and
thus
they are willing to give up the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called “physical freedom” and quarantine themselves at home in order to contain the spread of the virus. Without such
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
, there is no chance to count on that the authority could tack the problem alone.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are sure to be of vital importance in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
citizenships
, I believe that every effort should
be made
to serve society and build a better world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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