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Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. What is your opinion on that? v.2

Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. What is your opinion on that? v. 2
Undoubtedly, citizens play important roles in the prosperity of their community. While some individuals think that paying taxes is sufficient to fulfill in the contribution of this success, I personally believe that this is not enough and other important factors, including protecting of resources, following the rules and defending their country against hazards must be considered too. Obviously, preservation of the environment is one of the most important responsibilities of citizens in each country. To avoid wasting of energy, people have to conserve it by following of some important outlines imposed by governments. As a prime example, to generate electricity for each house annually, thousands of liters of fossil fuels must be consumed, damaging the wildlife tremendously; therefore, each member of a family has to use the least amount of energy, assisting other generations to have access to a safer environment and more natural resources. The second responsibility is that people should follow the civil acts. Definitely, each citizen has to abide the rules imposed by authorities, leading fewer budgets being spent on the protection of privacy of societies. For example, had the people of Tehran, the capital city of Iran, followed the rules of the Citizenship Act, fewer funds would have been used by the government, and this money would have been consumed in other important sectors. Lastly, to protect their country, individuals must be responsible. Clearly, although people have to be involved in the monetary issues of their country, their roles in important decisions are more important too. They must be active in political elections, unpredictable invasions, or even during propagation of contaminated diseases. In particular, to protect their continent against Ebola, a dreadful virus causing thousands of mortality around the world in 2014, many Africans had felt a responsibility to defend their country against this virus. In conclusion, although paying taxes is considered as an important duty of citizens, other responsibilities must not be forgotten. I think individuals must be active persons in other parts too, including when it comes to the protection of the habitat, country, and abiding by citizens.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
roles in the prosperity of their community. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that paying taxes is sufficient to fulfill in the contribution of this success, I
personally
believe that this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factors, including protecting of resources, following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and defending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
against hazards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
too.

Obviously
, preservation of the environment is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To avoid wasting of energy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
conserve it by following of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
outlines imposed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. As a prime example, to generate electricity for each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
annually
, thousands of liters of fossil fuels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be consumed
, damaging the wildlife
tremendously
;
therefore
, each member of a family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the least amount of energy, assisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
generations to have access to a safer environment and more natural resources.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow the civil acts. Definitely, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
abide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
imposed by authorities, leading fewer budgets
being spent
on the protection of privacy of societies.
For example
, had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Tehran, the capital city of Iran, followed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the Citizenship Act, fewer funds would have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, and this money would have
been consumed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
sectors.

Lastly
, to protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be responsible.
Clearly
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be involved
in the monetary issues of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, their roles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
decisions are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
too. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be active in political elections, unpredictable invasions, or even during propagation of contaminated diseases.
In particular
, to protect their continent against Ebola, a dreadful virus causing thousands of mortality around the world in 2014,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Africans had felt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to defend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
against this virus.

In conclusion
, although paying taxes
is considered
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be forgotten
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be active persons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts too, including when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the protection of the habitat,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and abiding by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. What is your opinion on that? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
344 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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