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Some people think that paying tax is their only duty, while others believe that we have more responsibility towards our society. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that paying tax is their only duty, while others believe that we have more responsibility towards our society. v. 1
In this day and age, many people think that their primary duty is to pay tax only, while there are others who feel that we have more responsibilities to our community. In my opinion, I believe that paying tax is one of our many responsibilities and there are other ways in which we can serve the public. On on hand, people believe that once they have paid taxes, their part in the process is complete. In other words, the dedicated legal platforms can take care of the tax-money collected and invest it in social and economic causes. Additionally, they believe that since they have already contributed from their hard earned money, there is no need to invest more time and resources into the causes as it is already being taken care by a formal organization. Hence, due to these reasons, some individuals feel that paying taxes is enough and there is no further contribution required from them. Other the other hand, there are some who feel that giving back to the society should not be restricted to paying a certain amount at the end of every year. Despite the fact that thousands of tax amount is collected annually, there are families who are still in need. One obvious example is the growing percentage of persons getting involved in social responsibility activities. For instance, on an average 55% people spend at least 2 hours per week in volunteering activities such as, cleaning the beaches, providing educational services, serving disaster victims, distributing left over's etc. To conclude, paying our due share to the government is a key feature, but there are aspects of serving the community which cannot be neglected. Therefore, it becomes imperative to not only pay taxes, but also serve the community in one way or the other. By doing this we become a better human being by helping others, and we get a chance to improve someone's life, ultimately serving the society.
In this day and age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their primary duty is to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, while there are others who feel that we have more responsibilities to our community. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is one of our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways in which we can serve the public.

Possible typo: you repeated a word
On on
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that once they have paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, their part in the process is complete. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the dedicated legal platforms can take care of the tax-money collected and invest it in social and economic causes.
Additionally
, they believe that since they have already contributed from their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money, there is no need to invest more time and resources into the causes as it is already
being taken
care by a formal organization.
Hence
, due to these reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and there is no
further
contribution required from them.

Other the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who feel that giving back to the society should not
be restricted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
a certain amount at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of every year. Despite the fact that thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
amount
is collected
annually
, there are families who are
still
in need. One obvious example is the growing percentage of persons getting involved in social responsibility activities.
For instance
, on an average 55%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend at least 2 hours per week in volunteering activities such as, cleaning the beaches, providing educational services, serving disaster victims, distributing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
over's etc.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
our due share to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is a key feature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are aspects of serving the community which cannot
be neglected
.
Therefore
, it becomes imperative to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
serve the community in one way or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. By doing this we become a better human being by helping others, and we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
someone's life,
ultimately
serving the society.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that paying tax is their only duty, while others believe that we have more responsibility towards our society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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