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It is the responsibility of a government to protect its citizens from natural disasters. v.4

It is the responsibility of a government to protect its citizens from natural disasters. v. 4
A natural Disaster is a calamity which occurs beyond our imagination and which cannot be anticipated. The exact time of occurrence, its intensity and the damage it causes cannot be estimated by humans. Everyone as an individual has his or her responsibility to safeguard themselves from such type of disasters. The main responsibility lies on the part of the government which is consisting of the people, represented by the people and formed for the people. The government has no role and is dormant if it does not help its citizens in time of need. As far as my opinion is concerned I fully agree that government has to look after its citizens during such events of natural disasters which are of large scale. The responsibility of government has to be portrayed in the perilous times and in the times of need when a disaster occurs. It is well known that a natural disaster occurs naturally and due to its unimaginable fierceness, the intensity of damage it may cause cannot be estimated. As an individual people can protect himself at his capacity but damages to a larger extent cannot be handled by an individual. For a natural disaster whose intensity is unknown, prevention and rescue operation should not be underestimated and relief operations of such large scale can only be dealt by the Government only. It is vital that Government has to act in such type of situations by the way of evacuating people from the affected areas, setting up temporary relief camps, providing them essential commodities like water, milk etc, and setting up clinics to stop the spread of  communicable diseases. Apart from the preventive measures, Government at a large scale can provide help tackle the aftermath the disaster causes in restoring the normalcy which cannot be done individually. If we see the damages caused by a natural disaster it is so voluminous that sometimes even it is hard for the government to handle the situation. It is obvious that government works for the welfare of the people and without the people, the government has no meaning. If we consider an example there was a massive cyclone in south India during the month of October 2014, the damage was so massive that there was a huge impact on the everyday life and the Government with all its machinery and Governing attributes in use could restore water, electricity and basic needs of its people within 8 days. Imagine this without the help of government, what a mess it would be? This type of situation cannot be handled by an individual and the control on every element lies on the Government which can be handled effectively by the Governing body. Finally to conclude the main aim of a Government is to safeguard its citizens in times of need and in times of perilous situation because Government works for the people and without them Government has no meaning to sustain and un-functional.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disaster
is a calamity which occurs beyond our imagination and which cannot
be anticipated
. The exact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of occurrence, its intensity and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
it causes cannot
be estimated
by humans.

Everyone as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
responsibility to safeguard themselves from such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
. The main responsibility lies on the part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
which
The verb 'consisting' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is consisting
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, represented by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and formed for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has no role and is dormant if it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
its citizens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of need.

As far as my opinion
is concerned
I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
look after its citizens during such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
which are of large scale. The responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be portrayed
in the perilous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of need when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
occurs.

It is well known that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
occurs
naturally
and due to its unimaginable fierceness, the intensity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
it may cause cannot
be estimated
. As an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can protect himself at his capacity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
damages to a larger extent cannot
be handled
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. For a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
whose intensity is unknown, prevention and rescue operation should not
be underestimated
and relief operations of such large scale can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be dealt
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

It is vital that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
act in such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
by the way of evacuating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
areas, setting up temporary relief camps, providing them essential commodities like water, milk etc, and setting up clinics to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the spread of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
communicable diseases. Apart from the preventive measures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
at a large scale can provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
tackle the aftermath the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
causes in restoring the normalcy which cannot
be done
individually
.

If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the damages caused by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
voluminous that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
works for the welfare of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has no meaning. If we consider an example there was a massive cyclone in south India during the month of October 2014, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
massive that there was a huge impact on the everyday life and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
with all its machinery and Governing attributes in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
could restore water, electricity and basic needs of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within 8 days. Imagine this without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, what a mess it would be?

This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
cannot
be handled
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and the control on every element lies on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
which can
be handled
effectively
by the Governing body.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
to conclude
the main aim of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is to safeguard its citizens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of need and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of perilous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
works for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and without them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
has no meaning to sustain and
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-functional
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is the responsibility of a government to protect its citizens from natural disasters. v. 4

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
489 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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