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Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position. v.3

Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position. v. 3
We all know that work is the food of life. There is no doubt that the experienced staff is far better qualified to a promotion than the fresh employee. It is taken for granted that the long-service employee has several potentials which help him to get a promotion contrary to the new employee. Thus many companies reward the employees who have been with them for a long. In my opinion, this is indeed a good idea for the motivation of the employee and for the improvement of the company. One of the reasons why the only experienced employee should get a promotion is that s/he knows many things about his/her job. For example, he can tackle any issue related to the scope of his work and can implement good solutions to such problems. Undoubtedly, such employee deserves the promotion due to his broad knowledge and experience. Another important issue is the employee loyalty towards the company and that should be rewarded. Another reason is that the experienced employee can communicate elegantly with people from different backgrounds. To illustrate, he is able to deal with everyone perfectly and this, without a doubt, is because of his long experience in his work. Consequently, he is the only one who can get the promotion. In conclusion, it cannot be denied that the experienced employee is the only one who deserves the promotion. As stated above, the experienced employee not only knows the tactics of his work but also can perfectly deal with people. Hence, he must be promoted.
We all know that
work
is the food of life. There is no doubt that the
experienced
staff is far better qualified to a promotion than the fresh
employee
. It
is taken
for granted that the long-service
employee
has several potentials which
help
him to
get
a promotion contrary to the new
employee
.
Thus
many
companies
reward the
employees
who have been with them for a long. In my opinion, this is
indeed
a
good
idea
for the motivation of the
employee
and for the improvement of the
company
.

One of the reasons why the
only
experienced
employee
should
get
a promotion is that s/he knows
many
things about his/her job.
For example
, he can tackle any issue related to the scope of his
work
and can implement
good
solutions to such problems.
Undoubtedly
, such
employee
deserves the promotion due to his broad knowledge and experience. Another
important
issue is the
employee
loyalty towards the
company
and that should
be rewarded
.

Another reason is that the
experienced
employee
can communicate
elegantly
with
people
from
different
backgrounds. To illustrate, he is able to deal with everyone
perfectly
and this, without a doubt, is
because
of his long experience in his
work
.
Consequently
, he is the
only
one who can
get
the promotion.

In conclusion
, it cannot
be denied
that the
experienced
employee
is the
only
one who deserves the promotion. As stated above, the
experienced
employee
not
only
knows the tactics of his
work
but
also
can
perfectly
deal with
people
.
Hence
, he
must
be promoted
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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