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Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. v. 2
It is a controversial issue as to whether new houses should be built based on the design of local areas, or, whether people should give preference of their own choice in constructing their sweet home. From my perspective, people have the freedom to erect shelters with comfort and all amenities that require in human life. On the one hand, it is extensively popular among people build resident by looking the same structure of the area where they live in. The fact is that if the region has a similar pattern, it arises a sense of community and equality within a residential area. For example, studies have shown that most of the houses of a colony are comparatively same, in a sense that it reflects the status and wealth of that local community. This, invariably, not only enhance the beauty of the residents, but it also creates a bond between local neighbours. This is because if the houses would build differently, the other owners would have got a chance to bullying or burglary. Furthermore, if the government looks all the houses measurement is similar, it would be easier for them to change the structure of the area in a facile manner. On the other hand, a few people would prefer to erect their houses with their own design and structure. If they do so, the terrain would look different with various types of houses which would have myriads of shapes. This, certainly, could increase the aesthetic beauty of that realm which may get praiseworthy comments from international agencies. For instance, in Italy, Venice is widely recognised by its beautiful houses those are different from other buildings, Thus, when a person would think of building his house, he should reflect on his own architecture which would provide comfort as well as requisite of his life. In conclusion, new structure of houses should maintain the similarity of local houses - it is thought by some people, while others have agreed that people should construct houses in completely different styles which would confer ease and facilitate people with all necessities of lives
It is a controversial issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
should
be built
based on the design of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, or, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give preference of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice in constructing their sweet home. From my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the freedom to erect shelters with comfort and all amenities that require in human life.

On the one hand, it is
extensively
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
build resident by looking the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. The fact is that if the region has a similar pattern, it arises a sense of community and equality within a residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
For example
, studies have shown that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
of a colony are
comparatively
same, in a sense that it reflects the status and wealth of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community. This,
invariably
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance the beauty of the residents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
creates a bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
would build
differently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
owners would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to bullying or burglary.
Furthermore
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
looks all the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "houses'" or "house's"?
houses
measurement is similar, it would be easier for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
Consider replacing "in a facile manner" with the adverb for "facile"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a facile manner
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer to erect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
design and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
. If they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the terrain would look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
which would have myriads of shapes. This,
certainly
, could increase the aesthetic beauty of that realm which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
praiseworthy comments from international agencies.
For instance
, in Italy, Venice is
widely
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
by its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
those are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
buildings,
Thus
, when a person would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of building his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, he should reflect on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
architecture which would provide comfort
as well
as requisite of his life.

In conclusion
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
should maintain the similarity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while others have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles which would confer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with all necessities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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