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This is a technology area. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

This is a technology area. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1
Today, the internet has become the most important part of our lives in every field. The net has dramatically given the best way to get some information. I completely say that it is a good thing for our present and future lives. Firstly, due to the internet, computer has changed human lives for their work and education as well. Moreover, book learning is also dependent on the web. For instance, a laptop is the best thing for us with the help of the web because in any company the work cannot be done without the laptop. The media are becoming an important part of our lives with the help of the net and technology as well. The hi tech plays an indispensable role with the help of the web as well. Secondly, the book learning is found to start online as compared to on campus so that the disabled people who can not go to the university or college can also get education online and make their lives better. For example, mobile is called the invention of neon technology. Today, every person has a mobile because it is cheaply and easily available in the market. Because of the mobile and the net, children can learn new things in their lives by playing education related games so their mind will develop and even skills will also improve. Even the web is becoming cheaper due to the advancement of technology. To summarize, without the online network, we cannot live our life so because in every field to get information we need the internet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the internet has become the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in every field. The net has
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information. I completely say that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for our present and future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Firstly
, due to the internet, computer has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for their work and education
as well
.
Moreover
, book learning is
also
dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
.
For instance
, a laptop is the best thing for us with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
the work cannot
be done
without the laptop. The media are becoming an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the net and technology
as well
. The hi tech plays an indispensable role with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
as well
.

Secondly
, the book learning
is found
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
online as compared to on campus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the disabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can not go to the university or college can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
better.
For example
, mobile
is called
the invention of neon technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, every person has a mobile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
cheaply
and
easily
available in the market.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the mobile and the net, children can learn new things in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
by playing education related games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their mind will develop and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. Even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
is becoming cheaper due to the advancement of technology.

To summarize
, without the online network, we cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in every field to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information we need the internet.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay This is a technology area. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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