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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.22

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 22
In the last two decades, the tourism sector has seen sharp progression. Currently, it is considered as one of the biggest industry in the world, but, unluckily, it creates tension instead of coordination among the people from various cultures. I completely disagree with this opinion and believes that it bring harmony, fraternity and love across nations. First of all, foreign tourists, visit any other country to explore its culture or the scenic beauty, as a result before their trip they research about the tradition and lifestyle of the nation, so that they can enjoy it to the most. By learning about the other culture, they show their respect to the people of the tourist area. In addition, tourist also generate employment opportunities, hence people respect them and try to make their experience pleasurable. People from hotel or transportation industry benefit from tourist and make arrangements according to their requirements, so ultimately this creates understanding and love between them. Moreover, the tourist industry is extremely important part of an economy. Foreign visitors are a source of revenue generation which helps in boosting the economy of the country. Therefore, the government also provides all the facilities to the tourists and tries to minimise the circumstances where any conflict can arise due to different culture, for example, in all the famous tourist destinations, special guides are provided to the international visitors so that they will not face any problem due to the different tradition particularly, language. To conclude, international tourism is the largest sector in the world and it brings people from different traditions together and also assist in the globalization of the cultures. Additionally, it is a great way to understand and learn about new cultures and popularise your traditions across the globe.
In the last two decades, the tourism sector has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
sharp progression.
Currently
, it
is considered
as one of the biggest industry in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
unluckily
, it creates tension
instead
of coordination among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. I completely disagree with this opinion and believes that it bring harmony, fraternity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
across nations.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, visit any other country to explore its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or the scenic beauty,
as a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their trip they research about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
and lifestyle of the nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can enjoy it to the most. By learning about the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their respect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
area.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
also
generate employment opportunities,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respect them and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their experience pleasurable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from hotel or transportation industry benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
arrangements according to their requirements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ultimately
this creates understanding and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between them.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
industry is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of an economy. Foreign visitors are a source of revenue generation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in boosting the economy of the country.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
provides all the facilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and tries to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the circumstances where any conflict can arise due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
for example
, in all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations, special guides
are provided
to the international visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not face any problem due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
particularly
, language.

To conclude
, international tourism is the largest sector in the world and it brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
together and
also
assist in the globalization of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Additionally
, it is a great way to understand and learn about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'popularise' is British English.
popularise
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
across the globe.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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