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Some people believe that national sport teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government Others think they should be funded by non government ways such as business scholarship What is yo v.2

Some people believe that national sport teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government Others think they should be funded by non government ways such as business scholarship What is yo v. 2
In recent times there has been a phonomenon of the heated debate on the issue of who should provise the athletes with financial aid. Whereas some people are inclined to the view that the government should take charge of it, others are opposed to this viewpoint insisting on the fund of of non-governmental organizations. However, I hold a strong conviction that both of them are equally paramount for the satisfactory progress of sportsmen. On the one hand, national sportsteams are often perceived as the pride of a country which means indegeous people feel contended and burst with pride when those athletes make headway. Contrastly, involvment of privately-run companies might result in commercialising them damaging the image of the nation. Futhermore, the victory of them irrefutably unites residents leading on valuable contribution to close-knit community. Hence, who should take care of them is the authorities. On the other hand, monetary values backed by private sectors is of the essence in this statement due to the government' s plethora of allocations to other fields such as education system and health care services. That is to say, presence of them would alleviate the political figures' burden supplying sports centres with better equipment, top-class facilities, nutrition as well as training methods. Obviously, the perfomance of sports teams is believed to be boosted with the help of them. To recapitulate, the mere support of state-run organizations is not sufficient in essence. The aid of privately owned businesses who are eligible to put up finance, can fulfil sportspeople' s potential.
In recent times there has been a
phonomenon
of the heated debate on the issue of who should
provise
the athletes with financial aid. Whereas
some
people
are inclined
to the view that the
government
should take charge of it, others
are opposed
to this viewpoint insisting on the fund
of of
non-governmental organizations.
However
, I hold a strong conviction that both of them are
equally
paramount for the satisfactory progress of sportsmen.

On the one hand, national
sportsteams
are
often
perceived as the pride of a country which means
indegeous
people
feel contended and burst with pride when those athletes
make
headway.
Contrastly
,
involvment
of
privately
-run
companies
might result in
commercialising
them damaging the image of the nation.
Futhermore
, the victory of them
irrefutably
unites residents leading on valuable contribution to close-knit community.
Hence
, who should take care of them is the authorities.

On the other hand
, monetary values backed by private sectors is of the essence in this statement due to the
government&
#039; s plethora of allocations to other fields such as education system and health care services.
That is
to say, presence of them would alleviate the political
figures&
#039; burden supplying sports
centres
with better equipment, top-
class
facilities, nutrition
as well
as training methods.
Obviously
, the
perfomance
of sports teams
is believed
to
be boosted
with the
help
of them.

To recapitulate, the mere support of state-run organizations is not sufficient in essence. The aid of
privately
owned
businesses who are eligible to put up finance, can fulfil
sportspeople&
#039; s potential.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that national sport teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government Others think they should be funded by non government ways such as business scholarship What is yo v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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