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some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. with this opinion? v. 2
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that an increasing number of people consider that local profession galleries and museums should be focused on containing the national craft heritage of a bucolic rather than keeping foreign profession works of other countries. Personally, I tend to consider that this point of view is well grounded, however we should not ignore the fact that profession works of other countries can provide the atmosphere of that bucolic. First and foremost, it is well known that every gallery has a various kind of local craft works and also foreign works. One of the main reasons behind that the local art works illustrate the history of country. Correspondingly, foreign art works personify the history of other parts of the world at the same time. A good case in point is the museum of “Kuns camera” is well known not only for keeping the national art works, but also this building is provided with the profession works of other counties such as pictures of Leonardo da Vinci and so on. On the other hand, it can also be argued that some people are passionate about exploring only the history of their country. That is to say they are fascinated by their own past rather than being really into other countries’ craft works. Taking the museum of Tamerlan as an example, this gallery illustrates only the history of Uzbekistan and the history of great warlord Tamerlan. Overall, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis, we can come to a conclusion that although museums keep all the craft works of the country, we should not neglect the works of other counties, which can provide the atmosphere of the culture of the past.
One of the
widely
discussed issues nowadays is that an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
galleries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should
be focused
on containing the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
heritage of a bucolic
rather
than keeping foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Personally
, I tend to consider that this point of view is well grounded,
however
we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can provide the atmosphere of that bucolic.

First
and foremost, it is well known that every gallery has a various kind of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
works and
also
foreign works. One of the main reasons behind that the local art works illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Correspondingly
, foreign art works personify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world at the same time. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in point is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
of “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kuns
camera” is well known not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for keeping the national art works,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
this building
is provided
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
counties such as pictures of Leonardo da Vinci and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it can
also
be argued
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are passionate about exploring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
That is
to say they
are fascinated
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
past
rather
than being
really
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
works. Taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tamerlan
as an example, this gallery illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of Uzbekistan and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of great warlord
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tamerlan
.

Overall
, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
works of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, we should not neglect the works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
counties, which can provide the atmosphere of the culture of the past.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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