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Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.12

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. v. 12
Some argue that individuals are becoming more sociable since the advent of modern technology, whereas, others opine that it is making them less friendly. While technology has made individuals less friendly as they are busy with their gadgets, however, this essay believes that people have become more sociable as they can keep in touch with their friends and relatives all over the world. The modern-day technology has caused individuals to interact less with people around them as they are busy with their gadgets. This is to say that people especially, teenagers are engrossed in their smartphones and do not communicate with their parents, siblings, and neighbors. They do not share anything with their elders which have caused a strained relationship between children and parents. For instance, nearly 50% of the parents in India complain that they are completely unaware of their children’s whereabouts. Despite, this I believe that technology has increased the interaction among people. Individuals are able to stay connected with their friends and relatives, who reside in another part of the world. This has been made possible due to technology which has introduced various apps such as Whatsapp, Facebook, and Skype, using which people can talk to their near and dear ones. For example, it has been seen that people who stay in countries such as the US and the UK are able to interact free of cost and for an unlimited number of hours with their relatives residing in India due to the availability of such technology. Therefore, this essay believes that people have become more sociable than ever before. To conclude, even though people argue that technology has made humans less sociable than before, however, this essay believes that it has made people highly sociable as they are able to communicate and stay in contact with people, irrespective of the distance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that individuals are becoming more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
since the advent of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, whereas, others opine that it is making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
friendly. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
friendly as they are busy with their gadgets,
however
, this essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their friends and relatives all over the world.

The modern-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has caused individuals to interact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them as they are busy with their gadgets. This is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are engrossed
in their smartphones and do not communicate with their parents, siblings, and neighbors. They do not share anything with their elders which have caused a strained relationship between children and parents.
For instance
,
nearly
50% of the parents in India complain that they are completely unaware of their children’s whereabouts. Despite, this I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has increased the interaction among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Individuals are able to stay connected with their friends and relatives, who reside in another part of the world. This has
been made
possible due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which has introduced various apps such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
, Facebook, and Skype, using which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can talk to their near and dear ones.
For example
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who stay in countries such as the US and the UK are able to interact free of cost and for an unlimited number of hours with their relatives residing in India due to the availability of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Therefore
, this essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To conclude
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
however
, this essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that it has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
as they are able to communicate and stay in contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, irrespective of the distance.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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