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People are surrounded by many kinds of advertising, which can influence their life. Is it a positive or negative trend? v.1

People are surrounded by many kinds of advertising, which can influence their life. Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 1
In the recent decades, advertisement has become an increasingly popular means of communication, whose purpose is to inform customers about the main features as well as the function of a product. In this essay, both positive and negative impacts of this trend will be scrutinized before my personal position is stated. On the one hand, I believe negative effects arise with adverts. The main drawback is the disturbance they can cause, particularly advertising on different social media platforms such as YouTube and Facebook. Consequently, viewers will be annoyed with commercials, which undeniably interrupt the workflow. Thus, the purpose of selling the products will be backfiring and the company being responsible will have received a negative brand image. Another downside is the dishonesty in advertising. There are two criteria that a customer pays close attention when a commercial is being aired, that is quality and function. Unfortunately, quality and function are deliberately being exaggerated in order to capture the attention and persuade the viewers to buy them. Therefore, a handful of people ended up with regretful purchase so they would lose their trust on advertisements. On the other hand, advertising brings benefit to people’s life. New products are constantly being produced for the ever increasing demand from potential customers. As a result, customers are being informed by a wide range of new selections and current products are being upgraded on a daily basis. However, a company will most likely to collaborate with a variety of celebrities for their advertising campaign. This will lead to unnecessary product purchase from buyers, especially the youth community due to excessive needs. Furthermore, they have to cope with financial difficulties because of overconsumption. In conclusion, I would state that advertisements have demerits far outweighs the merits and we should consider carefully the needs and make the choices wisely.
In the recent decades, advertisement has become an
increasingly
popular means of communication, whose purpose is to inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
about the main features
as well
as the function of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. In this essay, both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of this trend will
be scrutinized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my personal position
is stated
.

On the one hand, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects arise with adverts. The main drawback is the disturbance they can cause,
particularly
advertising on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social media platforms such as YouTube and Facebook.
Consequently
, viewers will
be annoyed
with commercials, which
undeniably
interrupt the workflow.
Thus
, the purpose of selling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will be backfiring and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
being responsible will have received a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
brand image. Another downside is the dishonesty in advertising. There are two criteria that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
pays close attention when a commercial is
being aired
,
that is
quality and function. Unfortunately, quality and function are
deliberately
being exaggerated
in order to capture the attention and persuade the viewers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.
Therefore
, a handful of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ended up with regretful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they would lose their trust on advertisements.

On the other hand
, advertising brings benefit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life. New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
constantly
being produced
for the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
demand from potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are
being informed
by a wide range of new selections and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
being upgraded
on a daily basis.
However
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will most likely to collaborate with a variety of celebrities for their advertising campaign. This will lead to unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from buyers,
especially
the youth community due to excessive needs.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with financial difficulties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of overconsumption.

In conclusion
, I would state that advertisements have demerits far outweighs the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
merits and
we should consider
carefully
the needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the choices
wisely
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay People are surrounded by many kinds of advertising, which can influence their life. Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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