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Some people think that modern technology has more negative effects on our lives than positive ones. v.1

Some people think that modern technology has more negative effects on our lives than positive ones. v. 1
The 21st century has already seen considerable progress in technology. It is true that this improvement in technology has revolutionised our lives. However, I believe that this has more negatives harms than benefits on individual's life. In this essay, the manner in which development of technology has affected communication and employment opportunities will be analysed. To begin with, people nowadays are more dependent on the electronic devices for communicating with others. A good illustration for this is the recent innovation of the ‘Whatsapp’ which provides an alternative for sending messages free of charge. Although this innovation has eased the means of communication it is nowhere compared to the face-to-face communication and it lacks the feeling of closeness. Thus, the link between improved technology and degraded communication skills can be seen. In addition, advancement in technology has resulted in replacing people with the machines at various workplaces. For instance, the existence of labour-saving devices such as dishwasher, washing machine and vacuum cleaner acts as a substitute for the house-maids causing the rise in the unemployment. Because of this, individuals have to depend on the government for their basic needs and thus the economy of the country is affected. Therefore, the negative implications on the work status as well as the economy of the society are clear. From the above examples, it is difficult to debunk that technological advances have afflicted the peoples' lives. It is thus hoped that the elected representatives will take measures to minimise the usage of technology in certain places for the well-being of the society.
The 21st century has already
seen
considerable progress in
technology
. It is true that this improvement in
technology
has
revolutionised
our
lives
.
However
, I believe that this has more negatives harms than benefits on individual's life. In this essay, the manner in which development of
technology
has
affected
communication
and employment opportunities will be
analysed
.

To
begin
with,
people
nowadays are more dependent on the electronic devices for communicating with others. A
good
illustration for this is the recent innovation of the ‘
Whatsapp
’ which provides an alternative for sending messages free of charge. Although this innovation has
eased
the means of
communication
it is nowhere compared to the face-to-face
communication
and it lacks the feeling of closeness.
Thus
, the link between
improved
technology
and degraded
communication
skills
can be
seen
.

In addition
, advancement in
technology
has resulted in replacing
people
with the machines at various workplaces.
For instance
, the existence of
labour-saving
devices such as dishwasher, washing machine and vacuum cleaner acts as a substitute for the
house
-maids causing the rise in the unemployment.
Because of this
, individuals
have to
depend on the
government
for their basic needs and
thus
the economy of the country is
affected
.
Therefore
, the
negative
implications on the work status
as well
as the economy of the society are
clear
.

From the above examples, it is difficult to debunk that technological advances have afflicted the peoples'
lives
. It is
thus
hoped that the elected representatives will take measures to
minimise
the usage of
technology
in certain places for the well-being of the society.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that modern technology has more negative effects on our lives than positive ones. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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