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It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. v.6

It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. v. 6
Expenses are increasing day by day for all kind of human requirements like food, accommodation and children education, etc. and living standard is improving due to various technological innovations. So, it has become common for many families to have both parents working. There are two kinds of families having working parents nowadays. Some may choose for having a better life and to make their future financially secured, while another choose because of their financial needs. Recently, from last decade women empowerment has seen a significant improvement. So, Women are sharing equal responsibilities with men in all professions. I believe that families having both working parents have edge over others in financial perspective. But its impact on children must be recognised first. In families, when parents go to work, children are left at home alone. Some people argue that children become independent and they learn how to manage their selves. In addition, they believe that children who grow up having the support of their relatives in the family make them more social and kind. On contrary, other believes that both working parents do not give enough attention to children’s development. Thus, children become undisciplined and may go out of hand sometimes. According to them, if one of the parents is earning enough money, then another should concentrate on children’s development. Money is not a serious matter always. Parents should not become too greedy. There are many examples of both working parents from my friend circle. They are good parents and understand their responsibilities towards their children. So, as a conclusion, I will say it depends on the way of thinking of individuals and the way of interacting with their kids. One should identify own situation and requirements and act accordingly.
Expenses are increasing day by day for all kind of human requirements like food, accommodation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
education, etc. and living standard is improving due to various technological innovations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
common for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to have both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. There are two kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may choose for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a better life and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future
financially
secured, while another choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their financial needs. Recently, from last decade women empowerment has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a significant improvement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Women are sharing equal responsibilities with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in all professions.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have edge over others in financial perspective.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
its impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
first
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
go to work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
at home alone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
independent and
they learn how to manage their selves.
In addition
, they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who grow up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the support of their relatives in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more social and kind.

On contrary, other believes that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
undisciplined and may go out of hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. According to them, if one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money, then another should concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development. Money is not a serious matter
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
too greedy.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
from my friend circle. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and understand their responsibilities towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as a conclusion, I will say it depends on the way of thinking of individuals and the way of interacting with their kids. One should identify
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
situation and requirements and act
accordingly
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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