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It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. v.5

It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. v. 5
With the modernization of the society, it is not uncommon to see both the parents working. There are various reasons for it. Firstly, everybody wants to be financially independent. Secondly, with the increasing inflation and cost of living, it sometimes becomes necessary for both the partners to work. But there is no gainsaying in the fact that this impacts family life and children. When both the partners are working, it becomes difficult to spend time together and with the family, especially when the work timings are different. Children suffer the most in this situation. Mostly when children are merely one year old, they are sent to day care centre and are taken care by strangers. Childhood is a very crucial time in everybody's life.   This is the time when children learn most, they pick up good or bad habits, develop emotional bonds with their parents. But when both the parents are working, children spends most of the time away from their parents and hence the emotional connect is not as strong as it should be. Even when all family members meet in the evening, both parents would be tired of all day work and could not spend quality time with each other. One major drawback of the both parents working is there is nobody to constantly keep an eye on children and to correct them instantly. For example; when I was growing up, my mother was always at home when I came back from school, and I would spend hours telling her what happened in school. She would feed me wholesome food and then help me with my homework. As I was growing up, she taught me, how to cook, do the dishes, and clean the house. Whenever I was late for home, I was
With the modernization of the society, it is not uncommon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. There are various reasons for it.
Firstly
, everybody wants to be
financially
independent.
Secondly
, with the increasing inflation and cost of living, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
becomes necessary for both the partners to work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is no gainsaying in the fact that this impacts family life and children.

When both the partners are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, it becomes difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and with the family,
especially
when the work timings are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
suffer the most in this situation.
Mostly
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
merely
one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to day care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and
are taken
care by strangers. Childhood is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in everybody's life.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn most, they pick up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits, develop emotional bonds with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
hence
the emotional connect is not as strong as it should be. Even when all family members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in the evening, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
be tired
of all day work and could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.

One major drawback of the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is there is nobody to
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to correct them
instantly
.
For example
; when I was growing up, my mother was always at home when I came back from school, and I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
hours telling her what happened in school. She would feed me wholesome food and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me with my homework. As I was growing up, she taught me, how to cook, do the dishes, and clean the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Whenever I was late for home, I
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
was
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. v. 5

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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