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Some people think that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? v. 1
Some argue that, contemporary innovations do more harm than the positive effects. However, I have to justify that, contradictions are far more affective than the benefits. Apparently, conservative's adaptation is necessary for our well being. Although, foreseeing is vital to minimize the persisting disadvantages. To begin with, human interactions are changing while human's are getting used for electronic devices like a mobile phone, which has a predominant influence on users. Likewise, people trend to spend more time on their devices rather than their nuclear family or immediate friends. For an example, nowadays the preference for family meal time and family conversations are at a declining rate. When it comes to family meal time most of the young member's are on the cellular either" gaming, or chatting rather sitting together and listening to their parents advice. Furthermore, involving with electronic friends has become far more important than friendships at school or neighbourhood. Eventually, communication among immediate relationships has diminished over the years. Therefore, people avoid seeing each other very often. To sum up, social integrity and healthy family connectivity have descended, among young and old members of the families. On the other hand, modern commodities are essential for a business to develop and distance communication can benefit commercially or personally. As an example, most trading operators intend to depend on innovative operational systems likewise accounting softwares, marketing apps and emails. With respect to productivity and cost effect. Furthermore, networking facilities have a qualitative change on remote business and people distances to get an education or work. Consequently, diversification in trade and human mobility. As a result, trade functions have grown in greater ways along with the communication ease. To summarize, modern innovation's have become the foundation of the global economy. In conclusion, current alteration has been vital for the living standards of people. Thus, forecasting the specific side affects should do beforehand. Modernization products include the negative aspects on their product catalogues to eliminate matters.
Some
argue that, contemporary innovations do more harm than the
positive
effects.
However
, I
have to
justify that, contradictions are far more affective than the benefits.
Apparently
, conservative's adaptation is necessary for our
well being
.
Although
, foreseeing is vital to minimize the persisting disadvantages.

To
begin
with, human interactions are changing while
human's
are getting
used
for electronic devices like a mobile phone, which has a predominant influence on users.
Likewise
,
people
trend to spend more time on their devices
rather
than their nuclear
family
or immediate friends.

For an example, nowadays the preference for
family
meal time and
family
conversations are at a declining rate. When it
comes
to
family
meal time most of the young
member's
are on the cellular either
"
gaming, or chatting
rather
sitting together and listening to their parents advice.
Furthermore
, involving with electronic friends has become far more
important
than friendships at school or
neighbourhood
.
Eventually
, communication among immediate relationships has diminished over the years.
Therefore
,
people
avoid seeing each other
very
often
. To sum up, social integrity and healthy
family
connectivity have descended, among young and
old
members of the families.

On the other hand
, modern commodities are essential for a business to develop and distance communication can benefit
commercially
or
personally
. As an example, most trading operators intend to depend on innovative operational systems
likewise
accounting
softwares
, marketing apps and emails. With respect to productivity and cost effect.
Furthermore
, networking facilities have a qualitative
change
on remote business and
people
distances
to
get
an education or work.
Consequently
, diversification in trade and human mobility.
As a result
, trade functions have grown in greater ways along with the communication
ease
.
To summarize
, modern innovation's have become the foundation of the global economy.

In conclusion
,
current
alteration has been vital for the living standards of
people
.
Thus
, forecasting the specific
side affects
should do beforehand. Modernization products include the
negative
aspects on their product
catalogues
to eliminate matters.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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