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Some people think that mobile phones are most useful for their professional life other thinks that mobile phones are most useful in their personal life Discuss of them and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that mobile phones are most useful for their professional life other thinks that mobile phones are most useful in their personal life Discuss of them and give your opinion v. 1
In present context, where every living being is deeply engaged in achieving there goals, mobile phones are the most popular medium that allows them to stay connected with the society or getting information to achieve professional goals. However, it is often debated if phones are more useful for private or official live and I will be touching on both the opinions and than draw a suitable conclusion. To begin with, having the ability to share personal experiences with nears and dears via call or rather, video chats these days. Moreover, having the smart communication device lin pocket lets one connect to anyone around the world almost instantaneously such that one can have a discussion or inquire aboute health of their loved ones who might be living thousands of kilometres away. There are many social media applications where people usually share their images and thoughts about the time they spend with friends or while having a family holiday which keeps everybody in their social circle aware of what is happening in one' s life. When it comes to professional side of things, smart phones are considered to be most effective to communicate with colleagues whether it is with a team member located in a different time zone or initimating the manager about the task updates via official chat groups or voice call. The modern phone operating systems also offer a range of applications that can range from being showcasing your domain expertise with peers or getting training for new skiil development that will uplift the career. After carefully analyzing both train of thoughts above, I strongly feel that mobile phones are not just a communication device used to reach out kith and kin but also keep touch with fellow workers at office. It is also the best source of information when it comes to knowing about what is happening in personal society as well as the professional world.
In present context, where every living being is
deeply
engaged in achieving there goals, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are the most popular medium that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to stay connected with the society or getting information to achieve professional goals.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are more useful for private or official
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and I will be touching on both the opinions and
Did you mean "then"?
than
draw a suitable conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, having the ability to share personal experiences with nears and dears via call or
rather
, video chats these days.
Moreover
, having the smart communication device
Possible spelling mistake found.
lin
pocket
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
one connect to anyone around the world almost
instantaneously
such that one can have a discussion or inquire
Possible spelling mistake found.
aboute
health of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones who might be living thousands of
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
away. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social media applications where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
share their images and thoughts about the time they spend with friends or while having a family holiday which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
everybody in their social circle aware of what is happening in
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s life.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to professional side of things, smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are considered
to be most effective to communicate with colleagues whether it is with a team member located in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time zone or
Possible spelling mistake found.
initimating
the manager about the task updates via official chat groups or voice call. The modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
operating systems
also
offer a range of applications that can range from being showcasing your domain expertise with peers or getting training for new
Possible spelling mistake found.
skiil
development that will uplift the career.

After
carefully
analyzing both train of thoughts above, I
strongly
feel that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a communication device
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to reach out kith and kin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
touch with fellow workers at office. It is
also
the best source of information when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to knowing about what is happening in personal society
as well
as the professional world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people think that mobile phones are most useful for their professional life other thinks that mobile phones are most useful in their personal life Discuss of them and give your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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