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Some people think that mental strength is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. Discuss both views and give your opinions. v.1

Some people think that mental strength is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. v. 1
Many people think that success in sports is derived from physical strength while others believe that mental toughness is the key. In my opinion, mental toughness is just as important as physical fitness in determining sporting success. Of course, success in sports requires extraordinary physical fitness. Firstly, muscular strength and key skills such as stamina, flexibility and agility can enhance the ability to perform general sport skills such as jumping or sprinting in the majority of sports. For example, competitive swimmers or runners must have brute strength to adjust their pace during different stages of the game to maintain their position or take the lead. Secondly, most elite athletes are cautious and well-prepared in exercising and eating to build muscle. The reason is that physical toughness helps them avoid injuries during training or competition, or their sporting career would be ruined by injuries. In other words, being in good physical condition ensures their continuity in athletic performance. However, those who believe that athletic success is strictly a matter of physical prowess are not seeing the whole picture as mental readiness defines how well athletes perform. Many top sports players such as Cristiano Ronaldo or Michael Phelps devote themselves to willpower and mental preparation to gain a sense of confidence and calm regardless of pressures to keep the best performance during the game while other players might succumb. Another example is endurance sports like long distance swimming or running in which mental capacity is a game-changing factor. In such cases, mental prowess is responsible for building up their resistance to boredom and tiredness and keeping themselves motivated while their body is suffering from fatigue. In conclusion, sports players have to face both physical and mental difficulties on the field. Therefore, they should be trained to be physically fit and mentally resilient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is derived
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
toughness is the key. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
toughness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness in determining sporting success.

Of course
, success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
requires extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness.
Firstly
, muscular strength and key
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as stamina, flexibility and agility can enhance the ability to perform general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as jumping or sprinting in the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For example
, competitive swimmers or runners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have brute strength to adjust their pace during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of the game to maintain their position or take the lead.
Secondly
, most elite athletes are cautious and well-prepared in exercising and eating to build muscle. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
toughness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them avoid injuries during training or competition, or their sporting career would
be ruined
by injuries.
In other words
, being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
condition ensures their continuity in athletic performance.

However
, those who believe that athletic success is
strictly
a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
prowess are not seeing the whole picture as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
readiness defines how well athletes perform.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players such as Cristiano Ronaldo or Michael Phelps devote themselves to willpower and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
preparation to gain a sense of confidence and calm regardless of pressures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the best performance during the game while other players might succumb. Another example is endurance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like long distance swimming or running in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
capacity is a game-changing factor. In such cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
prowess is responsible for building up their resistance to boredom and tiredness and keeping themselves motivated while their body is suffering from fatigue.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
difficulties on the field.
Therefore
, they should
be trained
to be
physically
fit and mentally resilient.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that mental strength is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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