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Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. v. 5
Undoubtedly, traditional people work to complete their basic needs like food, shelter and clothing, but in today’s scenario, people are giving more preference to job for comfort life and stay less time with own family. Therefore, this trend creates positive and negative effects. To commence with, there are various advantages in support of work more. The most prominent one of them is that when person spend precious time at work then, his social network increase and come across with different kind of people, culture and tradition that helps to increase knowledge as well as experience. For instance, during the work period people attend global level conferences and goes through with distinguished psychological people and catch numbers of ideas about them. Secondly, if people work a lot they can make huge bank balance with the help of money an individual can buy luxurious life style as well as all kinds of facilities, which include bungalow, expensive cars, medical support and healthy food. On the other hand, downsides of spending more time at work cannot ignore. Initially, scarcity of bond with family members and enjoys less time with kids and other members of the family. Due to that kids accompanied by bad people and start to take drugs along with this forget the morals and culture of the family because of absence of parents. To illustrate, parents go to work in the morning and return at night, then child half of the day stay at school and another time lives alone, because of which love falls short. Moreover, people cannot maintain health because they do not take enough rest and most of persons are sitting jobs and do not give time for exercise which give birth to a number of diseases such as, obesity, cancer, diabetes and body aches. To conclude, there is strong disputation on both sides of the case. My personal agreement is that work and personal balance life should be maintained at the individual level.
Undoubtedly
, traditional
people
work
to complete their basic needs like food, shelter and clothing,
but
in
today
’s scenario,
people
are giving more preference to job for comfort life and stay less
time
with
own
family
.
Therefore
, this trend creates
positive
and
negative
effects.

To commence with, there are various advantages in support of
work
more. The most prominent one of them is that when person
spend
precious
time
at
work
then, his social network increase and
come
across with
different
kind of
people
, culture and tradition that
helps
to increase knowledge
as well
as experience.
For instance
, during the
work
period
people
attend global level conferences and goes through with distinguished psychological
people
and catch numbers of
ideas
about them.
Secondly
, if
people
work
a lot they can
make
huge bank balance with the
help
of money an individual can
buy
luxurious life style
as well
as all kinds of facilities, which include bungalow, expensive cars, medical support and healthy food.

On the other hand
, downsides of spending more
time
at
work
cannot
ignore
.
Initially
, scarcity of bond with
family
members and enjoys less
time
with kids and other members of the
family
. Due to that kids accompanied by
bad
people
and
start
to take drugs along with this forget the morals and culture of the
family
because
of absence of parents. To illustrate, parents go to
work
in the morning and return at night, then child half of the day stay at school and another
time
lives
alone,
because
of which
love
falls short.
Moreover
,
people
cannot maintain health
because
they do not take
enough
rest and
most of persons
are sitting jobs and do not give
time
for exercise which give birth to a number of diseases such as, obesity, cancer, diabetes and body aches.

To conclude
, there is strong disputation on both sides of the case. My personal agreement is that
work
and personal balance life should
be maintained
at the individual level.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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